NURTURING MARRIAGE®
  • About
    • Us
    • Our Foundational Analogy
    • What We Believe
    • Meet Our Contributors
    • Featured On...
  • 6 Pillars to Nurturing Marriage
    • The Little Things
    • Date Night
    • Intimacy
    • Values to Live By
    • Routines and Rituals
    • Conflict Resolution
  • More
    • Romantic Getaways
    • Money Matters
    • Featured Couples
    • On a Lighter Note
  • BUY OUR BOOKS
    • LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND: A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL
    • NURTURE
  • Coaching Services
  • Contact Us
    • Shareable Quotes
    • Become a Contributor
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Partner with Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Join the Community >
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Nurturing Marriage Conversations Facebook Group

10 Surprisingly Real Marriage Tips from People Just Like You

10/5/2016

9 Comments

 
Some frank, funny, and surprisingly real marriage tips. #nurturingmarriage
Written by Allison Duggan
I got some really great advice from one of my favorite professors while I studied at WIU.  Upon congratulating me on my engagement, he told me to make weekly date night a priority in our marriage (especially after having children). He said that for at least one night out of the week, get out of your normal routine, whether that is going out or doing something different at home. How wonderful is that? It might not sound revolutionary to some folks, but at this point in my life and my marriage, it totally makes sense. Regularly reconnecting with each other is so important.

My professor also suggested NOT making movie-going an option for the weekly date night because you end up spending two hours sitting side-by-side staring at a screen... not talking and not even looking at one another! If you go out to dinner, you are forced to look at each other and talk! I thought the recommendation was great and as a result, we have gone on fewer and fewer dates to the movie theater since getting that advice.  

But you know what? I realized recently that my husband and I are movie people! In our history, we have always gone to movies together. We bond over our favorite movie franchises and favorite actors - and after our date night the other night we talked more enthusiastically after the movie than if we would have gone to dinner! And I loved it. Another thing I loved about our most recent date?  We kept it low-key! No makeup & sweatpants for me and hoodies for both of us. We rushed out of the house without worrying about any of it - just EXCITED to be going on a date and taking a breather as just the two of us for a few hours. Don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for getting dolled and fancied up for a special occasion or date night with your significant other, but it was also so great to just be us. I don't remember the last date we took together and we really should do it more often and make dating each other a priority.

So, I think if I could give a useful piece of marriage advice, date night would be something I would suggest. 

​It also got me thinking about how much each of us really has to share with the world. So I asked some of my marriage-minded friends to share some marriage tips and this is what they had to say.


1.) "...Marriage is work. It is so true that marriage may not always be glamorous or romantic. We have known too many couples that end up getting divorced within a few years after getting married. We feel that too many married couples forget that a marriage takes a lot of patience, sweat, and persistence, so they give up when they hit a hard spot, and end their marriage. A marriage is not meant to be easy. If it is always easy then we won't thrive as individuals and as a couple, and learn how to love each other even in hard times."

2.)
"Communicate no matter how uncomfortable or unsavory the topic may be, always find time for date nights and special little trips alone without the kids, and find things you love to do in common. I always hated the idea of watching football because all the rules confused me. But when my husband told me how important it was to him that I watch a game with him, I caved. Now I love it! Yet another little 'date' we can have. Never fight about disciplining the kids in front of anyone. And I know this piece of advice may be a tad controversial, but it's honest. Sex is SO important in a marriage. My mother gave me this advice long ago and it has served me well. It doesn't matter if he took out the garbage that day, or catered to your ego, or if you 'have a headache,' or you're just not feeling it that night. Do it. Even if you just had the worst fight ever. It will reconnect you. It will soften you to listen to your husband's side of an argument. It will make you a more confident woman which makes you better in your job, as a mother, in life in general. And if you aren't doing it ladies, I hate to say it, but someone else will. So get your groove on and do it regularly! I listened to my mother and I am a happier woman for it! And I am more in love with him now than I ever have been. Oh, and a little counseling never hurt anyone. I believe everyone in the world could use a little tweak here and there. It's a lot of work, marriage...but the work to get back to the good place in your relationship isn't so hard if you know that you wouldn't ever want to be without your spouse."

​
READ: THE BEST MARRIAGE ADVICE AROUND
10 Surprisingly Real Marriage Tips from People Just Like You - practical, funny, and totally real. #nurturingmarriage #marriagetips #marriageadvice
3.) "The other day my boyfriend and I were at my parents' house and I got rather snippy with him about something dumb, but something I had asked him not to do a few times before. When he left the kitchen, my dad looked at me and said 'Don’t sweat the small stuff, babe. All that is, is little things. Life is going to seem a whole lot longer and tougher for you two if ya keep that up...' and he is SO right! I keep going back to that advice when I want to be annoyed or want to correct my boyfriend. My boyfriend is an AMAZING man, why bring him down about dumb things that mean nothing compared to us?

That advice came from my father who has been with my mother for 36 years, so I think they know what they are doing!"


4.) "Honesty is the best policy. We are always brutally honest with each other. We never keep secrets or hide things from each other. If you want a marriage to work, you've got to be 100% honest with each other, and not be afraid to tell the other person how your feel."

5.) "Do not use your wife's brand new decorative towels to clean up paint."

6.) "Marry your best friend, learn to compromise, and never go to bed mad at each other."

7.) "Lee Brice said it best: 'Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse "I love you." Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense. Never let your praying knees get lazy, and love like crazy!'"

8.) "No matter how many times you ask, they will ALWAYS throw their dirty clothes next to the basket. Don't even waste the energy asking them to pick the clothes up."

READ: 7 WAYS TO SHOW YOUR HUSBAND YOU LOVE HIM

9.) "Communicate at all times and try to use a calm tone. (Definitely hard sometimes, so it takes practice!) I've found throughout my husband's deployments (Been through almost two deployments now.) that writing letters to each other is a fun and an easy way to get what you need to say out. Give yourselves time to miss each other. If you work opposite shifts, try to grab lunch together so you can at least have one meal/alone time together a day or more often during the week. I have found that trying to catch up on the weekends isn't enough, so make sure you equally make an effort to spend time with each other, even if it is only for a little while. Work out/stay active and eat healthy together! You will feel better physically and mentally, and you can both work out any frustrations in the meantime (and if you're upset with each other it's a good excuse to not "talk" and just run or lift it out!) Love each other deeply in the toughest of times, and have both of you place your spouse's needs before you’re own and you will never fail."

10.) 
"It's so important for both spouses to go into marriage believing that it is a forever commitment. We've been married 2 1/2 years, and already there have been times where our faith, endurance, and belief in each other have been tested. When it comes down to it, almost anything can be 'divorce-worthy.' But when you approach marriage truly believing that divorce is not an option, it changes the way you view things. When a person is at their most unlovable state, that's when they need your love the most.

Also, find your spouse's 'love language' and try to speak it (from the book by Gary Chapman). If words of affirmation make your spouse feel most loved, try to show your love by regularly using words that will build him/her up and avoiding ones that don't. The same idea goes for the other 4 love languages. Build trust by doing what you say you'll do."


What is the BEST marriage advice you've ever received about how to make a marriage work? Please share in the comments below! 

Photo Credit: Crooze Photography

This article was originally published on Allison's blog here. 
​

You may also enjoy  2 Quick Fixes to Avoid Sleeping on the Couch and 5 Tips to Remember When Setting Goals as Husband & Wife
9 Comments
Alex link
10/13/2016 06:28:08 am

Oh this adivice is right on! Most of these and many more are covered in my book "40 Forms of intimacy" with numerous practical ways couples can connect! I am also a marriage counselor who has been married for 13 years. Marriage requires daily effort but can be great! Thanks for the post.

Reply
Aaron & April link
10/29/2016 09:22:32 pm

Alex,

Thanks so much for your comment. It sounds like a great book. And marriage really does require daily effort. Thanks for your example and your work to help people nurture their marriages!

Best to you,
Aaron & April

Reply
LOVE SPELL
6/9/2022 02:29:03 pm

My ex-husband and I had always managed to stay friendly after our divorce in February 2017. But I always wanted to get back together with him, All it took was a visit to this spell casters website last December, because my dream was to start a new year with my husband, and live happily with him.. This spell caster requested a specific love spell for me and my husband, and I accepted it. And this powerful spell caster began to work his magic. And 48 hours after this spell caster worked for me, my husband called me back for us to be together again, and he was remorseful for all his wrong deeds. My spell is working because guess what: My “husband” is back and we are making preparations on how to go to court and withdraw our divorce papers ASAP. This is nothing short of a miracle. Thank you Dr Emu for your powerful spells. Words are not enough. here is his Email: [email protected] or call/text him on his WhatsApp +2347012841542

He is also able to cast spell like 1: Lottery 2: Conceive 3: Breakup 4: Divorce 5: Cure for all kinds of diseases and viruses.

Reply
Rachael Mildred
1/22/2024 07:36:43 am

EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL TO GET EX HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND OR EX WIFE/GIRLFRIEND AND CURE HERPES AND INFERTILITY THAT WORKS WITHIN 24 HOURS.

Contact Doctor Odunga at [email protected] OR Whats App/CALL +2348167159012

I got my ex husband back to me and also got fertile and gave birth to twin girls after 12 years of marriage.
When I came online last year, I saw a testimony about Doctor Odunga and how he has been helping people with marriage issues and I decided to contact him. We spoke on email at [email protected] and later he gave me his Whats-App number which is +2348167159012. He assured me he would help me get my ex husband back after 3 years of no contact. Doctor Odunga is the best spell caster I must say. My husband called me after 24 hours of contact. The third day, I received natural herbs for fertility and after using it, I became fertile and conceived. My husband and I reconnected, had sex and I was pregnant. Presently I am happy to say I am the mother of twin girls and this is ALL THANKS TO DOCTOR ODUNGA. I came online to say this: If you need help, I believe you are saved with this man.

Contact his email at [email protected]

OR Whats App/Call +2348167159012 and you too will give a testimony too to help others

Reply
Sarah Love
3/13/2024 11:40:35 pm

SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP ONLINE Email: [email protected]

Hello, My name is Sarah Love Tover. I live in Dover, Delaware. My boyfriend Juan Tover and I have been dating for the past 4 yrs we were to get married but it never happened..he constantly messes around with his ex's and other females every time he got caught he apologized and me to forgive him and I keep taking him back because I'm truly in love with this man but after a while he started messing around again. I had to do something about the situation. I went online and saw various testimonies of how people got their ex back but one testimony of Dr Odunga helped me find the right solution and I am very happy I contacted Dr. Odunga regarding my problem. My boyfriend is now my HUSBAND. We got married in United Church in Dover. My problem was solved. I am extremely happy to put his email [email protected] to anyone out here looking to solve his/her relationship problem. You can also Whats-App him with his mobile number +2348167159012

Reply
Cathy Flores
7/2/2024 06:55:39 am

I was absolutely desperate to get my husband back. Life without my husband was a real mess for me and my children. I wanted a dramatic change and I thought love spell could be the solution. After discussing the resolution with Him, he gave me hope that he will restore my marriage. I felt confident that he will actually make my husband to return home and he did! It’s fantastic what this great spell caster has done for me, his help is priceless! I don’t know what I would have done without his help, He does his job so well he is organized and highly functional, I believe he is the best service to use I can count on when it comes to restoring relationship, I was floored that his worked was perfect, if you need help, email: salemmanifestloverspell @ gmail. com https://65a1c79f02ded.site123.me

Reply
Karen
7/2/2024 09:50:10 pm

My partner and I have been together for 12 years but we broke up 3 years ago after our fight over his cheating habits which they all say it's not their fault but I was the one getting hurt. I was upset over the whole issue that I had to call for the separation but I felt really bad. The separation really had effects on my daughter who had to live away from her father. I had to think of a way to settle things out and find a solution to my husband's behavior. I found out about a spell caster Doctor Odunga who helped me with the problem to make my spouse come back to me and make him stop cheating. Soon, Richard came back to me begging at Sicily where I stayed after our divorce and I told him he has to show me he has changed for me to believe him. He came back twice after that day to Sicily begging me to have him back. It's been more than a year now since my husband came back to me and we have been living together since that day. I believe this man can also help with your problem. His email address is [email protected] or WhatsApp him at +2348167159012

Reply
James Turley
2/6/2025 05:42:18 am

I was really stressed by Erectile dysfunction issues and had consulted Dr Moses Buba. He gave us a thorough consultation and the medicines were equally effective. In a couple of weeks there was big improvement in me and we are very pleased with the progress. We cannot thank Dr Moses Buba enough. Highly recommended.you can reach him via Email [email protected] WhatsApp +2349060529305. you can also reach on his Facebook page ; https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61559577240930 / website page https://bubaherbalmiraclem.wixsite.com/website

Reply
GUFF jan
4/2/2025 10:42:34 pm

Holy s**t. Sorry for the language but I cant believe i stumbled across a comment while scouring the internet. I am suffering from erectile dysfunction, which was the same situation i found on the post ,Then I Connected with the email , i saw on the internet . i ordered mine and same with me today am cured , i am now a full man , enjoying my sex life and also got manhood enlarger , now my wife do scream on me and enjoy every part of me , if you also need his assistance , You meant go through his website; https://bubaherbalmiraclem.wixsite.com/website . Or reach him via mail ; [email protected] or WhatsApp ; +2349060529305 or his Facebook Page ;https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61559577240930 . AND THANK ME LATER . REACH ME FOR ADVICE +12044101902

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    The Little Things

    Instagram

    RSS Feed

    “Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.”
    -Jennifer Smith
    Picture

    You Know You Want to Read

    • 15 Tricks to Help You Learn How to Talk to Your Spouse Again
    • 3 Reasons You & Your Spouse Need a Bucket List
    • How Being "Mad" is Hurting Your Relationship
    • 17 Gestures That Make Men Feel Loved
    • Why You Should Still Ask Your Spouse Out on Dates
    • Foreplay Isn't Always What You Think
    • 3 Reasons to Keep Trying to Be Intimate With Your Partner
    • 5 Tips for Dealing with In-Laws Who Feel Like Out-Laws

    Everybody Loves These

    • Doing Things Your Lover Loves Because You Love Your Lover
    • 40 Fabulous Spring Date Ideas
    • 4 Tips to Creating the Marriage You Want
    • What is Your Apology Language?
    • How to Create Bedtime Rituals That Will Nurture Your Marriage
    • 5 Things Great Listeners Do
    Picture
   The Little Things       |     Date Night      |      Intimacy      |      Values to Live By      |      Routines and Rituals      |      Conflict Resolution       

Featured Couples      |      On a Lighter Note      |      Studies Show      |      Shareable Quotes 
  |      Commenting Policy
Photos from buru9, Agence Tophos, Jessica_Branstetter, Ryan Polei | www.ryanpolei.com, elsie.hui, hang_in_there, Nathan O'Nions, srgpicker, abdul / yunir, charlottejewel, kuhnmi, Alexandra Campo, Gareth1953 All Right Now, Simson_Petrol, Mateus Lunardi Dutra, diettogo1, Lyndsay Esson, shaunanyi, Urban_Integration, emraps, lemonjenny, Korona Lacasse, lilivanili, natasia.causse, oz1421, Ars Skeptica, @yakobusan Jakob Montrasio 孟亚柯, johnhope14, Stefano Montagner - The life around me, srgpicker
  • About
    • Us
    • Our Foundational Analogy
    • What We Believe
    • Meet Our Contributors
    • Featured On...
  • 6 Pillars to Nurturing Marriage
    • The Little Things
    • Date Night
    • Intimacy
    • Values to Live By
    • Routines and Rituals
    • Conflict Resolution
  • More
    • Romantic Getaways
    • Money Matters
    • Featured Couples
    • On a Lighter Note
  • BUY OUR BOOKS
    • LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND: A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL
    • NURTURE
  • Coaching Services
  • Contact Us
    • Shareable Quotes
    • Become a Contributor
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Partner with Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Join the Community >
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Nurturing Marriage Conversations Facebook Group