NURTURING MARRIAGE®
  • About
    • Us
    • Our Foundational Analogy
    • What We Believe
    • Meet Our Contributors
    • Featured On...
  • 6 Pillars to Nurturing Marriage
    • The Little Things
    • Date Night
    • Intimacy
    • Values to Live By
    • Routines and Rituals
    • Conflict Resolution
  • More
    • Romantic Getaways
    • Money Matters
    • Featured Couples
    • On a Lighter Note
  • BUY OUR BOOKS
    • LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND: A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL
    • NURTURE
  • Coaching Services
  • Contact Us
    • Shareable Quotes
    • Become a Contributor
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Partner with Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Join the Community >
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Nurturing Marriage Conversations Facebook Group

15 Tricks to Help You Learn to Talk to Your Spouse Again

2/24/2016

15 Comments

 
If one of you is craving communication and the other is fine with where things are at, things will be at a lack-luster. And vice versa, if someone is craving physical touch and the other is fine with where things are at, that just isn't going to cut it. So learn about each other - your likes and dislikes, your needs and frustrations. If just one of you feels a need for deeper communication, then this article is for you. However, no matter your love language, learning to talk to your spouse again will invite romance, adventure, and novelty into your marriage. And those are the kinds of things that every marriage needs.
"We have nothing to talk about anymore." "We don't have anything in common." "I know everything about him/her." These are all things we hear from couples who seem to have lost the ability to truly communicate with each other in meaningful ways. 

If you and your spouse sit over dinner and stare at your phones, or struggle to talk about random things that have happened, don't be discouraged - this is life as we know it. It's sometimes easy to think that if we aren't always having stimulating and engaging conversations with our spouse, that we are lacking in love. That kind of false thinking leads to emotional affairs and more.

There is most likely nothing wrong with your relationship other than the fact that you aren't as intentional about communicating as you used to be. Life happens, and as time marches on you know more and more about your spouse, and may feel that you have less and less to talk about. 

Now, it is usually the case that one of the spouses, either the husband or wife, has a greater need to connect through communication than the other. That spouse is also probably the one that worries the most about the quality of conversations that are being had in the relationship. So, one frank suggestion would be to take the 5 Love Languages quiz together (like today) and learn more about how each of you feel and receive love.  

If one of you is craving communication and the other is fine with where things are at, things will be at a lack-luster. And vice versa, if someone is craving physical touch and the other is fine with where things are at, that just isn't going to cut it. So learn about each other - your likes and dislikes, your needs and frustrations. If just one of you feels a need for deeper communication, then this article is for you. However, no matter your love language, learning to talk to your spouse again will invite romance, adventure, and novelty into your marriage. And those are the kinds of things that every marriage needs.

Here are fifteen ideas that will help you learn to talk to your spouse again! ​

1. Become a more interesting person. 

If you feel like conversation is lacking, then take this as a challenge to become a more interesting person. You don't have to just talk about money, kids, aging, extended family or work. Choose one or two things that you have always been interested in and make an effort to learn more (For example, I really, really want to learn everything there is to know about clouds, I just need to make the time to learn!). Set a goal to read up on something daily and then to share what you learned with your spouse. 

2. Be interested in what your spouse is talking about. 

If your spouse wants to tell you about something they read or learned, be interested. Don't just sit on your phone, or zone out, or nod. Ask questions. Here is the challenge - ask at least 6 questions (think who, what, when, where, why, how questions) about what they are telling you. Be involved, engaged, and interested in what they have to share. It may be forced and fake interest at first, but with time, genuine interest will come. Just think of it - you are honing your listening skills, and that my friend, is important to a healthy and happy marriage. ​
If one of you is craving communication and the other is fine with where things are at, things will be at a lack-luster. And vice versa, if someone is craving physical touch and the other is fine with where things are at, that just isn't going to cut it. So learn about each other - your likes and dislikes, your needs and frustrations. If just one of you feels a need for deeper communication, then this article is for you. However, no matter your love language, learning to talk to your spouse again will invite romance, adventure, and novelty into your marriage. And those are the kinds of things that every marriage needs.
3. Ask probing questions. 

​It's dinner time and you and your spouse are catching up on each other's days. You can ask, "How was your day?" and your spouse may respond by saying, "Fine," or "Stressful," and if you don't ask anymore questions, that will be the end of the conversation and you will miss out on learning all about your spouse's day. Ask probing questions like, "What projects did you work on today?" "How did you figure that out?" "Who did you talk to today?" "What were the most interesting parts of the day?" "What made you bored today?" "Why does it always have to work like that?" etc.

4. Learn to give good answers.

Now, this will take some thought and discipline for the spouse who doesn't love to talk, but it is important. You have to learn to respond with more than one-word answers. You have to learn the magic art of storytelling - though in your own style and way. If you struggle knowing what to say about your day, think back through your day and then start describing every little detail - things you did, people you talked to, things you read, thoughts you had, etc. It will make for fascinating and interesting conversation - which will immediately help you and your spouse to feel more connected and close. 

5. Take turns talking and asking questions.

Now, if there is one "talker," in your marriage, and it happens to be YOU - then learn to take turns talking and asking questions. You don't have to dominate the conversation, or talk just because there is silence. Learn to find a balance and to have a little give and take in your communication as husband and wife.

6. Love what your spouse loves. 

If your spouse has been particularly interested in something lately (think snakes), then choose to be proactive about learning more about what they love. It will give you loads to talk about. And don't get all selfish and expect your spouse to do the same for you, just fall in love with what they love. I, for one, know that if I keep up on ESPN news, I will be a much more fascinating wife to talk to over dinner. Just saying. 

7. Learn new things together.

One of the best ways to learn how to talk to your spouse again is to make an effort to learn new things together. Together, the two of you ought to occasionally take a class, pick up a hobby, or read books and articles either out loud to each other, or side by side. Then discuss what you are learning about. Practice and time, my friends, will help you both become excellent conversationalists.

8. Create projects to do together. 

Maybe you are going to re-tile the bathroom floor, or run a bake sale for your church together, whatever it is - create projects where the two of you have to share lots of time and space together, and where you are busy working with your hands (if possible). Why? This lends to conversation. When you are working on something together, it just seems more natural to have conversations about all kinds of things, without anything feeling forced. So pay attention to the time you are spending together and what you do during that time. 

9. Be okay talking about normal, prosaic stuff.

There is nothing wrong with talking about the bills, your trip to the Dr., something the neighbor kid did, what happened to your own kid at school, or a frustrating situation at work. In fact, talking about your REAL life (though it may seem a bit boring at times) is the best way to connect. However, it is these very real conversations that can also become frustrating if either of you get critical or don't see eye to eye on things (that is when it's important to remember how to talk about hard things in positive ways. You've got this.).
If one of you is craving communication and the other is fine with where things are at, things will be at a lack-luster. And vice versa, if someone is craving physical touch and the other is fine with where things are at, that just isn't going to cut it. So learn about each other - your likes and dislikes, your needs and frustrations. If just one of you feels a need for deeper communication, then this article is for you. However, no matter your love language, learning to talk to your spouse again will invite romance, adventure, and novelty into your marriage. And those are the kinds of things that every marriage needs.
​​10. Be okay with silence. 

Life has ebbs and flows. Some nights you will have a lot to talk about with your spouse, and other nights you won't. That is life. That is normal. And sometimes silence is the best thing for a relationship. Sitting side by side, thinking, reading or doing your own thing can nurture a marriage simply because you are together. So, don't lose hope and be discouraged if some moments in your relationship are more quiet than others. Just cherish the silence. ​

11. Be vulnerable.

Don't be afraid to bring something up in conversation just because you don't want your spouse to respond in a negative way. If you had a rough conversation with an extended family member on the phone that day, don't be afraid to bring it up. If you are struggling with something privately, don't be afraid to bring it up. Talk out your emotions, your feelings, your frustrations and your fears.

12. Become an empathetic listener.

If your spouse opens up to you about a problem they are facing or something they are struggling with, then don't be quick to give advice to try and fix things. And please don't criticize them or get mad. Instead, put on your "counselor" hat and become an empathetic listener. Ask questions, listen, and just be understanding, encouraging and present. These kinds of conversations really connect couples on deeper levels, and help them learn to work through real issues in life and in marriage. 

13. Disconnect from virtual reality for awhile.

Sometimes when we spend so much time online via social media, sports, gaming, or other things, we end up living in a virtual reality and we lose our ability to connect in person - one on one. So, take a break from the virtual world for a time. Have a smartphone fast for a day, or a week, and see if it doesn't help you connect more to real life and to the real people around you. 

14. Find ways to compliment your spouse during your normal conversations.


As you and your spouse get better and better at talking together, don't miss the opportunity to compliment your spouse mid-conversation like you used to do when you were dating. If you are listening to your spouse share something about his or her day or life, then take the moment at the end of what they were saying to express your thoughts, "Man, your blue eyes still make me melt," or, "Wow, I'm impressed with how you handled that. You really are such a thoughtful person." Taking moments in conversation to point out what you love about your spouse will go a long way in helping you two to feel more in love again.

15. Don't forget the power of humor.

Maybe you are a funny person, maybe not, but you can find humor in your life and in the stories you share with your spouse. Learn to laugh together over things you say or share. See the light side of things. If you really struggle finding things to laugh about, take time occasionally to find jokes or funny clips online to share with each other in person, and then just laugh together over silly things. There is power in laughing with your spouse - it brings you closer together and creates positive, happy feelings and memories. ​
Now, you don't have to try all of those suggestions at once, but give one or two of them a try this week and see if they don't help you feel like you have more to talk about with your spouse then you thought. Happy talking! 
Photo Credit: Jason Corey Photography

You may also enjoy 36 Questions That Will Help You Fall in Love With Your Spouse Again, Date Night Conversation Starters You HAVE to Try, or 10 Questions That Will Invite Gratitude
15 Comments
Caroline
3/2/2016 08:34:05 pm

I absolutely adore this. I can't wait to use these tips with my own spouse!

Reply
Aaron & April
3/2/2016 09:33:30 pm

Thanks, Caroline!

Reply
Lara Fox
1/8/2021 09:04:44 am

REAL URGENT EFFECTIVE SPELL CASTER TO HELP BRING BACK EX LOVER AND SAVE MARRIAGE   :  http://drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com I recently saw a testimony about a spell caster in a blog I visit for relationship counseling problems because I had been having serious issues with my husband and we had been dating for six months, he just suddenly changed, he was returning my calls, he started cheating,he was hurting me in so many ways i never thought possible and I just thought I should try it maybe out of desperation ..and I contacted them. At first everything felt dreamy and unbelievable, their consultations and solutions were a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little cos I heard, read and heard lots of stories of spell casters and I never really believed in spells ..I played along with a little hope and faith and I was sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle, everything went to a whole new direction, I guess it was all good faith that made me read That particular post that fateful day. I hope they could help other people too like they did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for my husband, my family and my life back their address is; wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com  Call him or add him on WhatsApp via: +19085174108

Reply
Sara link
3/2/2016 09:37:55 pm

After 10 years of marriage these are some great tips to have a conversation about something other than kids!

Reply
Aaron & April link
5/3/2017 06:15:09 pm

Right? Thanks so much!

Reply
Cassie from True Agape link
11/17/2017 06:48:31 am

Great tips. I love this list and I love tip #14. This is so true.

Reply
Tochukwu Ibe link
1/29/2018 07:58:03 pm

Great tip for couples, i found the article resourceful for a successful marriage. The list is great.

Reply
Marian
1/23/2019 05:18:20 pm

May i suggest that you use "Tips" instead of "Tricks" ? it sounds like we're tricking our spouse into doing things lol great article and blog btw!! :)

Reply
Ama
5/1/2019 04:35:23 am

Great articles. Thank you!

Reply
Suzy Parker
11/4/2020 07:26:23 am

URGENT FAST LOVE SPELL TO GET YOUR EX BACK
Good day, I Am Suzy Parker. from United States Of America, I want to quickly write on a Powerful Love spell Caster that helped me when I had a misunderstanding with my husband which leads to Divorced, I contacted this Powerful spell caster for help and He actually helped me without running away with my money. I follow the step that he ask and within 48 hours my husband called me and was eager for my forgiveness and that he wished nothing more than to have me in his arms forever. I am filled with so much joy and happiness that I found Dr. Iyaryi, I hope you all here will find this testimony of mine and get your husband back in just 48 hours. He did a perfect work for me. I am So Happy and Excited because as I'm writing this Testimony, My husband is madly in love with me again. If there is any body Out there who is in Difficulties and need help should kindly Contact Dr. Iyaryi on His Email ID driayaryi2012@hotmail.com and he is Ready to Help you no matter the Situation, Here is His Valid Email ID: driayaryi2012@gmail.com You can Text his whatsApp Number +23457915709

Reply
Sharon Williams
11/4/2020 07:30:00 am

Hello everybody,
Am Sharon Williams, I want to share my testimony on how my husband came back home. My husband left home for two year after we got we hard a query I was looking for help who to get my husband back to me, I told my friend about my problem she told me that there is is a good spell caster who can help me get my husband back to me she take me there and I told the man about my problem and he said he is going to help me get him back I was thinking He was joking that I should go and in three days my husband will come back home to me. I was waiting on that day for my husband is going to come back home on that same day I was sleeping when my husband call me and told me is outside the house and I was very happy for what the great spell caster did I want you to help me thank Dr. Zack of solutionoflovespelltemple@gmail.com for bringing back my husband back to me. Please I know you I will need his help. Contact him by email solutionoflovespelltemple@gmail.com he can help you I believe in help very much he is a great man. WhatsApp Number +2349057915709 Thanks.

Reply
Isabella Lucas
11/24/2020 07:22:17 am

My ex-husband and I had always managed to stay friendly after our divorce in February 2017. But I always wanted to get back together with him, All it took was a visit to this spell casters website last December, because my dream was to start a new year with my husband, and live happily with him.. This spell caster requested a specific love spell for me and my husband, and I accepted it. And this powerful spell caster began to work his magic. And 48 hours after this spell caster worked for me, my husband called me back for us to be together again, and he was remorseful for all his wrong deeds. My spell is working because guess what: My “husband” is back and we are making preparations on how to go to court and withdraw our divorce papers ASAP. This is nothing short of a miracle. Thank you Dr Emu for your powerful spells. Words are not enough. here is his Email: emutemple@gmail.com or call/text him on his WhatsApp +2347012841542

He is also able to cast spell like 1: Lottery 2: Conceive 3: Breakup 4: Divorce 5: Cure for all kinds of diseases and viruses.

Reply
Jason Bennett
12/7/2020 10:45:56 pm

Omg I Finally Got Helped  !! I'm so excited right now, I just have to share my testimony on this Forum.. The feeling of being loved takes away so much burden from our shoulders. I had all this but I made a big mistake when I cheated on my wife with another woman  and my wife left me for over 4 months after she found out..  I was lonely, sad and devastated. Luckily I was directed to a very powerful spell caster Dr Emu who helped me cast a spell of reconciliation on our Relationship and he brought back my wife and now she loves me far more than ever.. I'm so happy with life now. Thank you so much Dr Emu, kindly Contact  Dr Emu Today and get any kind of help you want.. Via Email emutemple@gmail.com or Call/WhatsApp +2347012841542

Reply
Cindy Anthony
2/23/2021 01:06:39 am

My husband changed dramatically towards me, doesn’t communicate anymore. He disrespects me and accuses me falsely of infidelity because of wicked gossip …but I’m simply AMAZED at the results of Dr. Todd who did reunion love spell for me. Everything is going so well and EXACTLY how he said it would be. Even though it took 3 days to fully progress, it was so worth it because things are just about at perfection! How he took my situation and completely turned it around to give me exactly what I wanted is beyond me, but something I will never question and just be completely grateful, God Bless Dr.Todd for turning sorrow happiness. Dr.Todd's contact; manifestspellcast @ gmail. com manifestspellcast.wordpress.com

Reply
Andrew moni
2/27/2021 06:24:46 am

Hello Everyone Do Need Help In this category?

I was going through a breakup with my husband for not given babies to him, i request a love spell and help to get pregnant too. After some while he tile me when my problem will be solve. Since then all my problem has been solve now am happy in my marriage. If you are going through this you can contact without any side effect..

Contact Dr Iyaryi for any kind of help..

Pregnancy Spell
Lottery Spell
Get Your Ex Back
Get Your Wife Back
Stop Divorce
Stop Broken Marriage
Get Your Husband Back
Get Your Boyfriend Back
Get Your Lottery Number

Email.. driayaryi2012@gmail.com OR driayaryi2012@hotmail.com You can Text +1 484 471 8463

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Conflict
    Resolution

    RSS Feed

    "What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility."
    -Leo Tolstoy
    Picture

    You Know You Want to Read

    • 15 Tricks to Help You Learn How to Talk to Your Spouse Again
    • 3 Reasons You & Your Spouse Need a Bucket List
    • How Being "Mad" is Hurting Your Relationship
    • 17 Gestures That Make Men Feel Loved
    • Why You Should Still Ask Your Spouse Out on Dates
    • Foreplay Isn't Always What You Think
    • 3 Reasons to Keep Trying to Be Intimate With Your Partner
    • 5 Tips for Dealing with In-Laws Who Feel Like Out-Laws
    Instagram

    Everybody Loves These

    • Doing Things Your Lover Loves Because You Love Your Lover
    • 40 Fabulous Spring Date Ideas
    • 4 Tips to Creating the Marriage You Want
    • What is Your Apology Language?
    • How to Create Bedtime Rituals That Will Nurture Your Marriage
    • 5 Things Great Listeners Do
    Picture
   The Little Things       |     Date Night      |      Intimacy      |      Values to Live By      |      Routines and Rituals      |      Conflict Resolution       

Featured Couples      |      On a Lighter Note      |      Studies Show      |      Shareable Quotes 
  |      Commenting Policy
Photos used under Creative Commons from bortescristian, JasonCorey, ivan.frolov.md, timsamoff, AvgeekJoe, aturkus, anastasia r, JasonCorey, StockMonkeys.com, JasonCorey, abdul / yunir, Shélin Graziela, Rachel.Adams, Stefano Montagner, micadew, sitye3, 401(K) 2013, OER Africa, [SiK-photo], elvissa, thevelvetbird, Rahul de Cunha, Street matt, Dusty J, Emery Co Photo, shanon wise
  • About
    • Us
    • Our Foundational Analogy
    • What We Believe
    • Meet Our Contributors
    • Featured On...
  • 6 Pillars to Nurturing Marriage
    • The Little Things
    • Date Night
    • Intimacy
    • Values to Live By
    • Routines and Rituals
    • Conflict Resolution
  • More
    • Romantic Getaways
    • Money Matters
    • Featured Couples
    • On a Lighter Note
  • BUY OUR BOOKS
    • LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND: A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL
    • NURTURE
  • Coaching Services
  • Contact Us
    • Shareable Quotes
    • Become a Contributor
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Partner with Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Join the Community >
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Nurturing Marriage Conversations Facebook Group