NURTURING MARRIAGE®
  • About
    • Us
    • Our Foundational Analogy
    • What We Believe
    • Meet Our Contributors
    • Featured On...
  • 6 Pillars to Nurturing Marriage
    • The Little Things
    • Date Night
    • Intimacy
    • Values to Live By
    • Routines and Rituals
    • Conflict Resolution
  • More
    • Romantic Getaways
    • Money Matters
    • Featured Couples
    • On a Lighter Note
  • BUY OUR BOOKS
    • LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND: A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL
    • NURTURE
  • Coaching Services
  • Contact Us
    • Shareable Quotes
    • Become a Contributor
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Partner with Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Join the Community >
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Nurturing Marriage Conversations Facebook Group

Are You Kind of a Jerk to Your Spouse?

1/12/2017

6 Comments

 
Are You Kind of a Jerk to Your Spouse? An amazing marriage website - tons of awesome resources!
Written by Emma Merkas
Oh, time. That dependable, ever-marching soldier that changes so much as it goes. 

Time heals all wounds. Time waits for no man. Time is precious. 

And when you think about it, time also has a way of eroding relationships, doesn’t it?

What often starts full of promise, love and joy can easily turn to resentment, frustration and bitter words after a few years together. Scientists already agree that the heady stage of early love – the butterflies, the giddy joy, the all-night phone calls… they can’t last beyond around two years.

READ: MARRIAGE IS LIKE A GAME WITHOUT RULES

Time gets in the way, and suddenly it is not enough just to be around your partner, as it once was. Little things they say or do start to drive you crazy.

The glow wears off and you begin to only see the broken, tarnished parts of your partner and you can’t stop focusing on the things that annoy you, instead of seeing all their great qualities.

As it turns out, they’re not perfect. You were looking at them through loved-up, rose colored glasses the entire time.

Believe it or not, having your partner finally slip off a pedestal is not always a sign that the love is gone. You needn’t consider running away.  

A relationship is a life’s work, ebbing and flowing over time and the way you feel about your partner can come and go in waves. There are the good times and the bad times, the ups and the downs.
A few years ago, my husband moved overseas for two months for work. We both welcomed the idea of a little space. Before he left, I felt like we were well into no-longer-friends territory. The stress of buying our first house, moving in and renovating as well as running a business in an economic slump was getting to us.

Sometimes I would hear words escape my mouth and not even know why I had been so mean-spirited. Other times, one of us would blow up in response to something completely benign the other had said.

READ: THE HONEYMOON'S OVER, NOW WHAT? 


We were at the end of our patience and had nothing left in the tank to give each other. 

But that’s what happens so often in relationships – you get caught in a pattern of action and reaction. Some of you may be reading this, thinking your own relationship will never get that way.

I thought that too. 

But a marriage is full of seasons. And these winter periods are inevitable. Take comfort in the fact that it’s seasonal, and everyone I know goes through these same patterns.

While my husband was away for his two-month stint, I missed him terribly. 

But I’m adamant that an enforced break of at least a week or two every year is a fantastic idea for any couple.

I’m lucky; he came back, just as we had planned. (Before he left, I’m sure we both fantasized for a split second or two about blissful freedom!) ​
How to push the reset button on your marriage. #relationshipgoals
But while he was away from me, I thought about all the people that have lost their partner permanently, and the ones who are enduring enforced leave, such as one military wife who emailed me telling me her husband was on his fifth round of a 4-9 month stint in a war zone.

It made me realize that for all the mundane moaning and groaning about whose turn it was to clean the kitchen or whatever… well, none of it mattered if he wasn’t here at all.

When he came home, it was like we’d been given the gift of a reset button for the relationship. Suddenly, I just wanted to make him smile. Wanted to be around him. Wanted to be happy. Wanted him to be happy. 

​READ: 8 FUN FALL DATE IDEAS

And vice versa. We both went out of our way to build our marriage back up. 

Our relationship was better than it had been in years, quite honestly. Not that it was ever terribly awful, but when both partners make a concentrated effort to be nice to each other, that’s where the magic happens.

Think about all the best parts of your closest friendships and try applying that to your relationship: Be kind, not mean. Disagree peacefully and constructively. Accept them the way they are.

If you’re caught in the attack-react cycle, consider a week’s holiday alone as a reset button. Give yourself the space and time to miss your husband or wife, and to get some perspective. 

Let time bring you closer. It can if you know how to work it to your advantage. 

And don’t sweat the small stuff.
Emotions can change on an hourly basis. We cannot rely on emotions alone –they lie to us. Sometimes the emotions we feel aren’t even our own, but brought on by hormones, a change of season, life circumstances or even hunger pangs. 

If you’ve gotten to the point where your partner is just plain irritating all the time, start by looking inwardly at yourself first to see what’s going on for you, rather than just blaming them. 

The key to maintaining a good relationship while you weather the ups and downs is simple:friendship.

You and your partner should be not just romantically involved, but also the very best of friends.

Think about some of the meanest things you’ve said (or perhaps yelled) at your partner. Think about the little digs you seemingly can’t help but make, maybe even on a daily basis. 

You would never remain friends with a person who talked to you that way, would you? I hope not. On the flip side, you would never be so careless with your friends, treating them that way. 

So why do you treat the one person you love most in the world like that? 

Strive to be a good friend to your partner.

Top Photo Credit: Caitlinn Mahar-Daniels

You may also enjoy Does Sharing a Bed With Your Spouse Get Any Easier and 10 Ugly Things Awful Husbands Do to Their Wives
6 Comments
Sharon
9/3/2021 10:01:17 pm

how i got my Ex lover back after a divorced by the help of DR NCUBE a marriage/relationship specialist. contact him if you need help WHATSAPP DR NCUBE ON +2348155227532
his email is..... [email protected]


he also have #herbs for
Pregnancy
Infertility herbal medicine mixture.
#hiv/aids
#cancerdisease
#fibroid
#diabetes

Reply
SCOTT WYCOFF
6/13/2022 05:26:29 pm

Hi, did you know there are spells to win love back from an ex. I have done it. I love reading about relationships and how to make them work, how to better the relationship, and how to keep the spark alive, even how to talk to them a certain way to get them to think a different way about the situation and you. If you need advice or want to win your ex back, try this: [email protected] copy and message on the following ( [email protected] ) It will change your mentality and get you what you want. Facebook page Https://web.facebook.com/Emu-Temple- 104891335203341

Reply
Rachael Mildred
1/22/2024 09:08:52 am

EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL TO GET EX HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND OR EX WIFE/GIRLFRIEND AND CURE HERPES AND INFERTILITY THAT WORKS WITHIN 24 HOURS.

Contact Doctor Odunga at [email protected] OR Whats App/CALL +2348167159012

I got my ex husband back to me and also got fertile and gave birth to twin girls after 12 years of marriage.
When I came online last year, I saw a testimony about Doctor Odunga and how he has been helping people with marriage issues and I decided to contact him. We spoke on email at [email protected] and later he gave me his Whats-App number which is +2348167159012. He assured me he would help me get my ex husband back after 3 years of no contact. Doctor Odunga is the best spell caster I must say. My husband called me after 24 hours of contact. The third day, I received natural herbs for fertility and after using it, I became fertile and conceived. My husband and I reconnected, had sex and I was pregnant. Presently I am happy to say I am the mother of twin girls and this is ALL THANKS TO DOCTOR ODUNGA. I came online to say this: If you need help, I believe you are saved with this man.

Contact his email at [email protected]

OR Whats App/Call +2348167159012 and you too will give a testimony too to help others

Reply
Bren link
3/21/2024 04:00:44 pm

THIS IS HOW YOU CAN RECOVER YOUR LOST CRYPTO? Are you a victim of Investment, BTC, Forex, NFT, Credit card, etc Scam? Do you want to investigate a cheating spouse? Do you desire credit repair (all bureaus)? Contact Hacker Steve (Funds Recovery agent) asap to get started. He specializes in all cases of ethical hacking, cryptocurrency, fake investment schemes, recovery scam, credit repair, stolen account, etc. Stay safe out there!
[email protected]
https://hackersteve.great-site.net/

Reply
Shanika Stewart
10/31/2024 08:36:19 am


You can get your ex back and cure your infertility problems with Great Odunga.

When I met Great Odunga, my husband had divorced me for over 2years because I was infertile and had been married for 23 years. I was devastated and confused as a woman of my age until I went online to look for help on how to get my marriage back then I met Great Odunga. Within 48 hours of contacting him, my ex husband came back home and pleaded for me to forgive him and take him back after 5 months of divorce. I accepted him back and then I told Great Odunga of my bareness for him to help me. He did the spell for fertility and after 48 hours of completing it, I conceived. My husband got me pregnant and I gave birth to a baby girl.
Presently, I am a mother of a beautiful baby girl and I am happy in my marriage. I would recommend him to anyone and I trust he has the power to help you. This is all thanks to Great Odunga and his wonderful work. Contact Great Odunga Via Whats-App number +2348167159012. Email him at: [email protected] / [email protected]

Reply
Lisa Nayna Tumelo
7/4/2025 03:55:07 am

The Great Dr.OLIHA Herbal medicine is a good or perfect cure remedy for HIV Virus, I was diagnosed of HIV for almost 5 years, everyday i am always on research looking for a perfect way to get rid of this terrible disease as i always knew that what we need for our health is right here on earth though the scientist say there is know cure for this disease,on my search I saw some different testimony on how Dr. OLIHA has been able to cure HIV with is herbal medicine. I decided to contact this man, I contacted him and he guided me on how to purchase the medicine. I asked him for solutions and he started the remedies for my health. Thank God, now everything is fine, I’m cured by Dr. OLIHA herbal medicine, I’m very grateful to Dr. OLIHA, reach him now on ([email protected] ) or you can also call him on +2349038382931.visit him website https://olihamiraclemedici.wixsite.com/drolihamiraclemedici

Dr. OLIHA Also Cures:
1. HIV/AIDS
2. HERPES 1/2
3. CANCER
4. ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease)
5. Hepatitis B
6. chronic pancreatic
7. Emphysema
8. COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease)
9. Asthma
10.Acute angle-closure Glaucoma
11. Diabetes
12.CHRONIC PANCREATIC
13.CHLAMYDIA
14.ZIKA VIRUS

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Conflict
    Resolution

    RSS Feed

    "What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility."
    -Leo Tolstoy
    Picture

    You Know You Want to Read

    • 15 Tricks to Help You Learn How to Talk to Your Spouse Again
    • 3 Reasons You & Your Spouse Need a Bucket List
    • How Being "Mad" is Hurting Your Relationship
    • 17 Gestures That Make Men Feel Loved
    • Why You Should Still Ask Your Spouse Out on Dates
    • Foreplay Isn't Always What You Think
    • 3 Reasons to Keep Trying to Be Intimate With Your Partner
    • 5 Tips for Dealing with In-Laws Who Feel Like Out-Laws
    Instagram

    Everybody Loves These

    • Doing Things Your Lover Loves Because You Love Your Lover
    • 40 Fabulous Spring Date Ideas
    • 4 Tips to Creating the Marriage You Want
    • What is Your Apology Language?
    • How to Create Bedtime Rituals That Will Nurture Your Marriage
    • 5 Things Great Listeners Do
    Picture
   The Little Things       |     Date Night      |      Intimacy      |      Values to Live By      |      Routines and Rituals      |      Conflict Resolution       

Featured Couples      |      On a Lighter Note      |      Studies Show      |      Shareable Quotes 
  |      Commenting Policy
Photos from bortescristian, JasonCorey, ivan.frolov.md, timsamoff, AvgeekJoe, aturkus, anastasia r, JasonCorey, StockMonkeys.com, JasonCorey, abdul / yunir, Shélin Graziela, Rachel.Adams, Stefano Montagner, micadew, sitye3, 401(K) 2013, OER Africa, [SiK-photo], elvissa, thevelvetbird, Rahul de Cunha, Street matt, Dusty J, Emery Co Photo, shanon wise
  • About
    • Us
    • Our Foundational Analogy
    • What We Believe
    • Meet Our Contributors
    • Featured On...
  • 6 Pillars to Nurturing Marriage
    • The Little Things
    • Date Night
    • Intimacy
    • Values to Live By
    • Routines and Rituals
    • Conflict Resolution
  • More
    • Romantic Getaways
    • Money Matters
    • Featured Couples
    • On a Lighter Note
  • BUY OUR BOOKS
    • LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND: A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL
    • NURTURE
  • Coaching Services
  • Contact Us
    • Shareable Quotes
    • Become a Contributor
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Partner with Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Join the Community >
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Nurturing Marriage Conversations Facebook Group