Written by Tycie Monson
My husband and I will be celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary this summer. I know that in the grand scheme of things that’s hardly any time at all, so by no means am I claiming to be a marriage expert! But the hubby and I have talked a lot about how far we’ve come since our newlywed days. Although the excitement, sweetness, and special time that is the newlywed phase is wonderful, we actually love married life more almost four years later! So for you newlyweds out there, just know: It should get better and better.
I have quite a few friends who are in their first year of marriage. This post is dedicated to all of you!
Things I Want My Newlywed Friends to Know
1) Keep having sex!
So, yeah. I hope we’re all comfortable with talking about sex around here. Because it’s great, and it’s super important. Like, one of the MOST important aspects of marriage. So for starters, if you’re uncomfortable with talking about sex, make yourself comfortable! Get yourself educated! Educated on your body, on his/her body, on the sex basics, etc… It’s extremely important, and it should be amazing.
Words from a marriage counselor: “Sex is the only thing that sets you and your spouse apart from simply being roommates… it requires you to reach a deeper level of trust…” (Anderson, Is Sex Necessary).
The honeymoon is a time for you to start learning about each other on a truly deep, intimate level. Don’t let that exploration stop - ever!
READ: THE SIX SENSES OF HEALTHY SEX
2) Keep talking.
While you dated your spouse you probably talked about anything and everything under the sun. Don’t let that stop! Keep talking about everything with each other. Talk about the things that are important to you, talk about your dreams, talk about your day, talk about your fears, and talk about hard things. The lines of communication in a marriage should be open and running 24/7, and you both should be able to confide in one another about everything- from the simplest day-to-day things to the deepest thoughts of your heart.
3) Keep dating.
Just because you’ve said “I do” doesn’t mean you get to call it good and stop winning over your spouse’s love. In fact, dating is more important now than ever before! You’re one of the lucky ones- you’ve found your one-and- only! Now make sure to treat them like your one-and-only and make it a priority to keep getting to know them and woo them.
READ: 100 SUMMER DATE IDEAS YOU WILL LOVE
Important: Going on dates with your spouse should not be a rare occasion. Make it a regular habit, and put effort into the planning process!
I love The Dating Diva’s website! It’s a great resource for date ideas and marriage tips.
4) Keep making plans.
Just like you made plans about your future together while you were dating and engaged, you should continue to make plans with your spouse after you get married. Having goals and dreams that you can work toward together can bring a lot of unity, fun, and commitment to your relationship. Have fun with each other and try to have something to look forward to at all phases of your life together! (Like right now, my husband and I are in the beginning stages of planning a trip to Disneyland for our 5th anniversary next year! Woot! Woot!)
5) Act like you’re married.
This may be obvious, but when you get married, act like you’re married. Use good judgment and strive to avoid doing ANYTHING that would betray your spouse’s trust in you.
Some good practices once you get married include:
- Being open with colleagues, friends, etc. that you are a married man/woman.
- Keeping your social media life transparent with your spouse.
READ: 10 THINGS LOYAL SPOUSES DO
- Being smart about your contact with old flames, crushes, boyfriends/girlfriends, etc. (For example, it wouldn’t be very wise to strike up a private conversation between an old boyfriend or girlfriend unless your spouse is completely aware (or better yet, involved in the conversation, too).)
- Talking about your husband/wife with affection, love, and respect around other people (even on days when you’re arguing about something).
- Showing affection toward your spouse everywhere you go (PDA anyone? Bring it on!).
Marriage is wonderful, amazing, fun, beautiful, and exciting. It also takes a lot of hard work, humility, and selflessness. If we want to have happy, lasting marriages, we need to put our relationships with our spouses as our #1 priority; and we need to show our spouses that they ARE our #1, our best friend, our lover, and our favorite person in the whole world. You’re on the right path if you and your spouse show each other by word AND deed that nothing else, no one else, is more important to you than they are.
This post was originally published here.
Photo Credit: Crooze Photography
“A great marriage isn’t something that just happens; it’s something that must be created.”
- Fawn Weaver
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