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One Simple Way to Nurture Your Marriage

9/6/2018

4 Comments

 
I love this simple idea! Doing it today!
Written by Aaron & April Jacob
Let's face it. You are full of good intentions. 

Really, you are. 
You want to nurture your marriage.
You want to be a better person for your spouse.
You want to change, improve, progress, and be better, am I right?

...but then life happens.


Sometimes you let life happen to you instead of choosing to take the reins and decide who and what you'll be and what kind of effort you are willing to put into that beautiful marriage of yours. ​

Take a minute and think about what choices you made to intentionally nurture your marriage this past week.

We know, it's sometimes kind of painful to go back and review, but you are doing better than you think, and you can get even better at this whole "nurturing" thing! We're confident of that. 


We are marriage coaches, and we often succumb to the hurry of life and let life happen to us and our marriage, instead of choosing what we want our marriage to look like, feel like, and become like. 

Renowned marriage expert, John Gottman, found that the secret to a happy marriage is by doing the small things - on the daily - to show your spouse that YOU CARE about them. 

READ: 50 WAYS TO SHOW LOVE

One thing that may help you at least begin to think about your desire to nurture your marriage is to create some reminders for yourself. Sort of like a marriage to-do list, or to-be list. 

YUP.

Simple reminders. 

Remembering is a powerful thing.

Here are a few different kinds of reminders that may help you remember how much you want to nurture your marriage this week.

Visual Reminders

Recently I put up a powerful quote on our bedroom wall about successful relationships. Having a visual reminder daily - something you look at without even thinking about it - can be just the nudge you need to keep your marriage at the forefront of your mind.

I was using my friend's phone the other day and saw that her wallpaper was a picture of her spouse. I loved that visual reminder she gave herself multiple times a day to remember her spouse and how much she loved him.

Sticky notes can also be visual reminders of things you want to do to improve, or to express love and support to your spouse throughout the day/week. ​
This simple idea of setting reminders can really help your marriage!
Phone Reminders

You may want to set daily, weekly, or monthly reminders on your phone to help you get your nurturing game on.

Reminders that may work for you may include the following:

Questions of Evaluation

- What is something I can do for Ryan to help him feel loved?
- What does Erin really need from me today? DO IT!
- How can I show Phil that I'm trying to support him in his new job?
- What effort am I going to put into my marriage today?

Task-Oriented Reminders

- Call Shelly during lunch - ask her how she is doing and listen. 
- Initiate sex tonight. 
- Be patient. 
- Get home on time!
- Rub his back for 5 minutes. 
- Plan anniversary date night. 
- Mark loves spearmint gum, specifically the Orbit brand!
- Lunch with Kathy Thursday!
- Check the sink and if there are dishes, do them!
- Kiss Mike when he gets home. 

Or perhaps your reminders are for things you know you need to work on in order to be a better person, and a better spouse:

Self-Improvement Reminders 

- No Taco Bell this week!
- Watch your words - no nagging!
- Look up from your phone! 
- Read for 10 minutes. 
- Don't bring it up (You know what "it" is!).
- Ask him how he is doing and listen. 
- Drink your water! 
- Remember your three goals (You will know what they are and maybe you need a more vague reminder!).
​- SHOW UP!

Now, reminders won't solve all of your problems or even help you go from good intentions to actions and habits, but they will help you get these goals on your mind.

And that,  friends, is a very good start.

You've got to start somewhere. 

Just start with deciding what you want to do to nurture your marriage, and then remind yourself to do it.

We could talk about the doing, tracking, and rewarding part of behavior too, but for today - let's just work on putting some reminders in place to help us move closer to the goals we have for a healthy, happy, thriving relationship with our spouses. Deal? 

Oh, and finally, in all of this remembering, try often to remind yourself of the promises you made so long ago!
​
  • Please wear your wedding ring.
  • Please keep a picture from your wedding day in your home.
  • Please think often of the vows you made, and re-commit to keep those promises to yourself and to your spouse.

Good things are headed your way.

Small and simple things daily, friends, and happily & healthily ever after is yours. 

xoxo,
​A&A

You may also enjoy How to Fall in Love Again and The Grass is Greener Where You Water It
4 Comments
Website Booklet link
3/30/2019 01:07:15 am

So you need a smartphone remonder app for a better marriage :)

Reply
Adam Golightly link
1/26/2021 11:22:49 am

My wife, and I have been thinking about how to improve our relationship, and marriage in order to be better for the kids. Thanks for your advice about how we can set reminders for anniversaries, dishes, patience, calls, and lunches. Making sure that we can get some help from a professional with some different tools could be really useful. https://sophiasbedroom.com/collections/vibrators/products/womanizer-starlet-2-blue

Reply
Preston Vaughn
8/6/2021 10:39:28 am

Need to be a respectful husband

Reply
SCOTT WYCOFF
6/13/2022 03:17:23 pm

Hi, did you know there are spells to win love back from an ex. I have done it. I love reading about relationships and how to make them work, how to better the relationship, and how to keep the spark alive, even how to talk to them a certain way to get them to think a different way about the situation and you. If you need advice or want to win your ex back, try this: emutemple@gmail.com copy and message on the following ( emutemple@gmail.com ) It will change your mentality and get you what you want. Facebook page Https://web.facebook.com/Emu-Temple- 104891335203341

Reply



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  • About
    • Us
    • Our Foundational Analogy
    • What We Believe
    • Meet Our Contributors
    • Featured On...
  • 6 Pillars to Nurturing Marriage
    • The Little Things
    • Date Night
    • Intimacy
    • Values to Live By
    • Routines and Rituals
    • Conflict Resolution
  • More
    • Romantic Getaways
    • Money Matters
    • Featured Couples
    • On a Lighter Note
  • BUY OUR BOOKS
    • LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND: A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL
    • NURTURE
  • Coaching Services
  • Contact Us
    • Shareable Quotes
    • Become a Contributor
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Partner with Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Join the Community >
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Nurturing Marriage Conversations Facebook Group