Week 3 #onesmallchange Challenge: YOUR SPOUSE NEEDS PHYSICAL AFFECTION

Written by Aaron & April Jacob

Well, you made it to Week 3 - that is AMAZING! Are you noticing any differences in your marriage? Maybe not in the way your spouse is acting, but in how you feel about your spouse? Do tell, we want to know what is working for you! 

Now, the whole point of this challenge was to help you take baby steps towards the marriage you have always wanted.

We have already given you two weeks worth of bite-sized ideas for improving your marriage. Please note that just because Week 1 and Week 2 are over, doesn't mean you should forget about your spouse's needs or ignore the fact that he/she deserves your respect. 

Now, on to your Week 3 #onesmallchange challenge -

Yourspouse needs your physical affection!

I recently stumbled upon a fascinating paragraph from the book "Love is a Decision," by Gary Smalley & John Trent. It caught my eye because I agree with it whole-heartedly. As I've done a bit more research, I've realized how true this tip is for BOTH men and women.

READ: AN INTERVIEW WITH ASHLYNN & COBY - OVERCOMING ADDICTION AND BETRAYAL TRAUMA

So, what was the tip that caught my eye and that may immediately improve your physical and emotional relationship with your spouse? 

It was this:

"...8 to 10 meaningful touches a day is really a minimum requirement for a woman [or man] to stay emotionally and physically healthy." (Love is a Decision, page 147)

This statement was obviously referring to women alone, but I think it applies equally to men.

8 to 10? Can you imagine how close, intimate, and connected you would feel with your spouse if you both made the intentional effort to touch each other in some small way, whenever you saw each other throughout the day?

Talk about a way to get "in the mood!"

Talk about a way to feel safe, secure, and content in your relationship!

According to love experts, Dr. Charles & Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz,

"The simple truth is, the best marriages engage in a lot of touching, and sex is only one form of touching."

Yes, you read that right. "Sex is only ONE form of touching." So, what are the other forms and why are they important?

Your packet with your challenge info is available below and will give you ideas on how you can make one form of physical affection your #onesmallchange this week. 

So, what is it about touch and happy marriages?! According to Dr. Charles & Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz, it's “the accumulation of touching” that matters." (here)

READ: 56 SECRETS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE

The accumulation of genuine, sincere affection between spouses can nurture friendship, invite emotional security, and make the act of sex more meaningful and satisfying. 

In an L.A. Times article from 1985 (can you believe they have those articles archived and online?!), Ann Landers was asked about a non-scientific survey that she received more than 100,000 responses to!

What Ann learned from her survey was that, "The importance of sex is overrated.

Women want affection.

​They want to feel valued. Apparently, having sex alone doesn't give them the feeling they're valued." (here)

The same often applies to men. 

Both men & women crave affection and want to feel valued.

Sex can provide those affirmations IF regular, loving touch is a normal part of the everyday marriage relationship.

So, take this as your #onesmallchange challenge - to nurture your marriage by offering your spouse the physical affection they both crave and need from you. 

If you do, you can be certain that within a very short period of time you may notice that your communication is improving, your sex life is more fulfilling, and your marriage is finally starting to feel like you always hoped it would.

Happy nurturing!

~ Aaron & April

​Photo Credit: Ashley Swenson Photo

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