Written by Aaron & April Jacob
Your spouse has needs.
Lots of them.
And magically enough, you can meet a lot (not all) of those needs if you are observant, mindful, intentional, and determined.
Now, you may immediately be thinking, "Why do I have to think about my spouse's needs? What about me and all of my unmet needs?"
We get it. Really.
However, this wouldn't be a challenge if it didn't stretch you and help you to grow, so we are going to invite you to try a little harder this month and to commit to four weekly changes that will nurture your marriage.
For your #onesmallchange Week 1 Challenge we are going to invite you to stop thinking about yourself and to start thinking about your spouse.
That is it.
We will help you through the process of turning that #onesmallchange into an actionable item that you can be accountable for.
A little hard?
Worth the effort?
So, how do you meet your spouse's needs? Or perhaps better phrased, how WILL you meet your spouse's needs?
You tell us.
Yes, you tell us.
In fact, who better to tell us than you. You know your spouse better than anyone else. Yes, you are the very best person for this challenge.
In fact, you probably know three things right now that you COULD be doing that would make your spouse's life easier and help him or her to feel more loved. Are we right?
If nothing comes to mind, we'll help you out!
We are here to encourage you to act on things you already know you should be doing to or for your spouse. And to do your part to nurture your marriage without any thought for what your spouse may or may not be doing for you.
Here is your #onesmallchange Week 1 Challenge (drumroll please!) -
Ideally you will want to download and print off the PDF worksheet below. If you prefer to just use your device and the Notes app on your phone to keep track of things, that works too.
WEEK 1 CHALLENGE: YOUR SPOUSE HAS A NEED YOU CAN MEET
1. Recognize your spouse's top ten needs. On the worksheet provided, write down what you think your spouse's top ten needs are. Ready? Go. You have three minutes to do this part.
2. Now, look at the list of needs on page 2 of your worksheet and re-think things. Try to identify if there are deeper needs you didn't even think about in your first go-around. Look at your list of ten needs and then look back at this list. Put a check next to any needs you think your spouse may have right now - this week (you can check more than ten). We hope this is an enlightening experience for you.
READ: DON'T TELL ME WHAT YOU DON'T WANT, TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT!
3. Now, go back through both lists and circle what you think are his/her top three needs. (Ideally you would ask your spouse about his/her needs, but we want this to be a secret, so we're going with your best guess here!)
4. Get specific. Now, write down three specific things you could do to meet each one of those needs this week.
5. Pick your #onesmallchange. Now, pick one of those things - yes, only one - to be your personal weekly challenge this week. Your #onesmallchange.
Hint - Go ahead and pick the one that seems the most realistic. The easiest to do. We want you to succeed here!
6. Write down your #onesmallchange on your worksheet. Write down what, when, how, and especially why you are going to do this this #onesmallchange. As you write, think about what may get in the way. Let your WHY be important enough to motivate you to overcome any obstacle that may come your way.
7. Set a daily reminder. Yes, set a daily reminder in your phone to help you remember your #onesmallchange. You don't want to forget about it! Yes, this month you are going to make your marriage a priority. You've got this!
8. Do it. Just commit to your #onesmallchange this week. Do it. If you can do it today, then do it! And watch it nurture your marriage in big ways.
9. Report back. We would love for you to report back here in the comment section about what you chose, when you did it, and how it went. We are all in this together and if we report back, we will encourage each other and get new ideas!
10. Keep it a secret. You may make #onesmallchange and feel like nothing happens as a result of your change. Please don't get discouraged! And please don't make the mistake of making comments to your spouse like, "Didn't you see I did that for you, or said that to you, or helped you with that?" The trick is that you can't tell your spouse what you are doing. Deal?
Check back in next week for your Week 2 Challenge!
READ: 5 WAYS TO GIVE YOUR WIFE THE AFFECTION SHE CRAVES
See, the point in all of this is for you to take responsibility for what you can do to make your marriage (and yourself) better. We're starting with one area you have control over - how you think about and treat your spouse.
Your #onesmallchange may not make a dramatic difference in your marriage, but it will start to change you. Something within you will begin to change and you will start to view your marriage in a different light. You will feel motivated to work harder, try harder, and continue making changes. And you never know, that #onesmallchange may have a bigger influence on your spouse than you realize.
Yes, your Week 1 Challenge will help you to stop thinking about yourself and to start thinking about your spouse. And that #onesmallchange will go a long way in helping you to create the marriage of your dreams.
We are over here grinning from ear to ear and cheering you on!
Plus, we are really looking forward to hearing about your #onesmallchange and all of your small successes!
~ Aaron & April
DOWNLOAD YOUR WEEK 1 CHALLENGE HERE
“Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.”
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