By Tawny May
Just after we’d started dating seriously, Pat and I went to a Superbowl party at my friend’s house. We sat at her dining room table munching on your typical array of Superbowl foods while Pat got acquainted with all my high school cronies. I didn’t think this night was particularly memorable, but a few months later, when we announced our engagement, one of my best people said, “I knew it! I saw his hand on your leg that night at the Superbowl shindig, and I knew it!”
I’m not a touchy person. I never have been. Physical touch definitely was never even in the top four of my love languages (which is why my closest friends thought Pat’s hand on my thigh as a strong indicator our relationship was going well). One of Pat’s primary love languages is physical touch. So you’d better freaking believe that--since getting married--I’ve had to learn a new language.
When physical touch is referred to in a dating or marriage context, our silly minds always go straight to the obvious: sexxxxxxxxx. But I’ve learned that it’s actually really truly so dang much more than that and that sometimes the simplest touch can make the biggest difference.
Physical touch allows us to keep those “in-love” emotions and makes marriage (and life) much more enjoyable! I mean, when was the last time you...
1. Held your spouse’s hand while you sat and talked? (Try this while talking about bills or a stressful day...there’s something so calming about it!)
2. Kissed your spouse on the cheek/forehead/nose?
3. Put your forehead against your spouse’s?
4. Nibbled on your sweetie’s ear?
5. Gave your sweet spouse a back-scratch?
6. Put your arm around your spouse?
7. Gave your babe a neck or head rub?
8. Slipped your hand along the belt-line under his or her shirt while you kiss?
9. Held on long and tight to that embrace--turning it into a bear-hug?
10. Cuddled and talked about nothing?
I’ll be honest--when Pat and I are emotionally distant (because life’s busy or we’re in a tiff or whatever), it carries over into all aspects of life… and I find that we’re physically distant, too. It’s in these moments that I know I need to link arms with him while we walk or snuggle him at night to signify that I want “things to be good” (as we say). Or if we’re not in a skirmish, such simple acts of physical touch can demonstrate my love for him and mean I want to be even closer. And isn’t staying close and getting closer to one’s spouse always the goal in marriage?
So, if you find yourself farther from your spouse than you’d like to be, try scooting a little closer...both figuratively and literally. Try any of the above methods or go ahead and be creative. Oh, and feel free post below what your favorite little love touches include.
Want to know something surprising? My little brother now accuses me fairly frequently of breaking our old PDA regulations! I know, I know, you’re going to say it’s because we’re a newly-wed (ish) couple and that if give it time so it’ll wear off. But you know what? Physical touch has morphed to be much more of a frequent and important expression of love for my honey, that I hope I never stop finding little ways to be near him physically to remind him how dearly I love him.
“Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.”
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