NURTURING MARRIAGE®
  • About
    • Us
    • Our Foundational Analogy
    • What We Believe
    • Meet Our Contributors
    • Featured On...
  • 6 Pillars to Nurturing Marriage
    • The Little Things
    • Date Night
    • Intimacy
    • Values to Live By
    • Routines and Rituals
    • Conflict Resolution
  • More
    • Romantic Getaways
    • Money Matters
    • Featured Couples
    • On a Lighter Note
  • BUY OUR BOOKS
    • LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND: A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL
    • NURTURE
  • Coaching Services
  • Contact Us
    • Shareable Quotes
    • Become a Contributor
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Partner with Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Join the Community >
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Nurturing Marriage Conversations Facebook Group

Are You Doing Anything Right in Your Marriage?

9/28/2016

1 Comment

 
Ever feel like you’re doing everything wrong? You put on your shirt inside out. You burned the chicken while making dinner. You forgot to fill the car with gas so you were late to your appointment because you had to stop at the nearest station. And suddenly you start extending that feeling of today-is-just-not-my-day to your marriage too. #marriage
Written by Bethany Bartholomew
Ever feel like you’re doing everything wrong? You put on your shirt inside out. You burned the chicken while making dinner. You forgot to fill the car with gas so you were late to your appointment because you had to stop at the nearest station.

And suddenly you start extending that feeling of today-is-just-not-my-day to your marriage too.

Okay.

Stop right there.


There’s no need to agonize over every single little thing that could be going wrong. But it’s even more important to avoid focusing on those little bumps in your marriage. Of course it’s important to recognize things that you can improve and to talk about them together with your spouse. But focusing only on the negatives without acknowledging what you have accomplished can be just as damaging as not recognizing what needs to be worked out between the two of you.

So take a second and take note of the things you are doing right in your marriage. Here are some things you’re probably doing right already.

Step 1: You got married.

Okay, if you’re reading this article, more than likely you have been joined to your significant other in matrimony—you got married. Congratulations! You’ve done the most important thing right so far. It may seem like a very basic thing to recognize, but every so often it might help to take a step back and say, “Oh yeah. I did marry that incredible person. And they said ‘I do’ too.” Obviously something went wonderfully right there. ​
Step 2: You are still married.
​

If this has been a struggle for you, or if circumstances outside of your control have prevented you from completing step 2 up through this point, don’t let that discourage you. Take a look at step 3. You’re probably still doing a lot right in your relationships.

READ: LIVING THE LOVE LANGUAGE OF QUALITY TIME
 
If you have made it through step 2, think of that as a very big accomplishment. This one seems harder when you look at divorce rates around the world today. But if you’re still married, you’re beating those numbers. You’re one of the couples who has stuck through it even when life has thrown every possible curveball your way. Take another second to recognize that accomplishment. You’ve made it this far. You’re doing great.

Step 3: You are continuing to work on your marriage.

Anyone reading this article and browsing nurturingmarriage.org is at least thinking about their marriage (past, present, or future) and how to nurture it. Step 3 complete! Obviously there is a lot more to do to keep working on your marriage, but you’re at least starting on that path. You’ve made the conscious choice to think about and work on your marriage. That’s great! That is a huge step! Congratulate yourself on your accomplishment.
Are you doing anything right in your marriage? #marriagehelp #nurturingmarriage
With all the different things you can do to continue working on step 3, you are more than likely at least accomplishing one or two great things in your marriage. In fact, you’re probably accomplishing more than that. Take a minute once again to think about all the things you’ve done right recently. Here’s a quiz to help spark some ideas for you.

Quiz


Talking:
  • Did you say, “I love you” to your spouse today?
  • Did you compliment your spouse today?
  • Did you verbally recognize something your spouse did to make you feel loved?

Showing:
  • Did you make the bed (or complete another household chore) for your spouse today?
  • Did you work with your spouse on a project related to one of their hobbies or interests?
  • Did you leave a surprise note or present for your spouse somewhere today?

Touching:
  • Did you kiss your spouse at least once today?
  • Did you take a few seconds to just hold your spouse today?
  • Did you initiate most of the touching today?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions or thought of something you did that was similar to the examples in those questions, congratulations! You showed love to your spouse. And you helped nurture your marriage!

See? You’re doing better than you thought.

“But those were such little things!” you might say. “I didn’t even remember doing some of them until I really thought about it.”

That’s because they’re meant to be little things. Often it’s these little moments that mean the most.

And these little moments are meant to be repeated. Little things really add up. You might decide to get breakfast ready for your spouse one morning, or you might bring home your spouse’s favorite candy bar, or you might randomly put on your spouse’s favorite song the next time you get in the car together. And the next time you do something little, you’ll show love again. Then again. And again! There’s no limit to the amount of love you can give to your spouse, and so there’s no maximum number of right things you can do.

READ: 10 WAYS OF SHOWING COMPLETE FIDELITY IN MARRIAGE

You can also talk about the little things together. Figure out what little things are most right for you and your spouse specifically. Ask questions like, “When I make you breakfast, I want to show that I love you. Is that a good way to show it to you? Is there something else I can do to show you that I love you?”

Those kinds of conversations are good to have anyway. Each person in a marriage will express and accept love differently. (TAKE THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES QUIZ!) So talk about it! Ask your spouse what you’re doing right in showing love to them. You might be surprised by their answers. And even if they don’t ask, feel free to share with your spouse what you think they are doing right too. A figurative pat on the back is always nice. And another way to show love!

You’re racking up the love moments already.

So keep doing what you’re doing. Of course, keep working on the things that need improving. Everyone has those. But take a second every so often to think, “You know what? I did something right today. And I nailed it!”

​Photo Credit: Crooze Photography

You may also enjoy Why Girls' & Guys' Nights Out May Actually Be Hurting Your Marriage and 10 Ways to Connect With Your Spouse
1 Comment
LOVE SPELL
6/9/2022 02:29:33 pm

My ex-husband and I had always managed to stay friendly after our divorce in February 2017. But I always wanted to get back together with him, All it took was a visit to this spell casters website last December, because my dream was to start a new year with my husband, and live happily with him.. This spell caster requested a specific love spell for me and my husband, and I accepted it. And this powerful spell caster began to work his magic. And 48 hours after this spell caster worked for me, my husband called me back for us to be together again, and he was remorseful for all his wrong deeds. My spell is working because guess what: My “husband” is back and we are making preparations on how to go to court and withdraw our divorce papers ASAP. This is nothing short of a miracle. Thank you Dr Emu for your powerful spells. Words are not enough. here is his Email: emutemple@gmail.com or call/text him on his WhatsApp +2347012841542

He is also able to cast spell like 1: Lottery 2: Conceive 3: Breakup 4: Divorce 5: Cure for all kinds of diseases and viruses.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    The Little Things

    Instagram

    RSS Feed

    “Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.”
    -Jennifer Smith
    Picture

    You Know You Want to Read

    • 15 Tricks to Help You Learn How to Talk to Your Spouse Again
    • 3 Reasons You & Your Spouse Need a Bucket List
    • How Being "Mad" is Hurting Your Relationship
    • 17 Gestures That Make Men Feel Loved
    • Why You Should Still Ask Your Spouse Out on Dates
    • Foreplay Isn't Always What You Think
    • 3 Reasons to Keep Trying to Be Intimate With Your Partner
    • 5 Tips for Dealing with In-Laws Who Feel Like Out-Laws

    Everybody Loves These

    • Doing Things Your Lover Loves Because You Love Your Lover
    • 40 Fabulous Spring Date Ideas
    • 4 Tips to Creating the Marriage You Want
    • What is Your Apology Language?
    • How to Create Bedtime Rituals That Will Nurture Your Marriage
    • 5 Things Great Listeners Do
    Picture
   The Little Things       |     Date Night      |      Intimacy      |      Values to Live By      |      Routines and Rituals      |      Conflict Resolution       

Featured Couples      |      On a Lighter Note      |      Studies Show      |      Shareable Quotes 
  |      Commenting Policy
Photos used under Creative Commons from buru9, Agence Tophos, Jessica_Branstetter, Ryan Polei | www.ryanpolei.com, elsie.hui, hang_in_there, Nathan O'Nions, srgpicker, abdul / yunir, charlottejewel, kuhnmi, Alexandra Campo, Gareth1953 All Right Now, Simson_Petrol, Mateus Lunardi Dutra, diettogo1, Lyndsay Esson, shaunanyi, Urban_Integration, emraps, lemonjenny, Korona Lacasse, lilivanili, natasia.causse, oz1421, Ars Skeptica, @yakobusan Jakob Montrasio 孟亚柯, johnhope14, Stefano Montagner - The life around me, srgpicker
  • About
    • Us
    • Our Foundational Analogy
    • What We Believe
    • Meet Our Contributors
    • Featured On...
  • 6 Pillars to Nurturing Marriage
    • The Little Things
    • Date Night
    • Intimacy
    • Values to Live By
    • Routines and Rituals
    • Conflict Resolution
  • More
    • Romantic Getaways
    • Money Matters
    • Featured Couples
    • On a Lighter Note
  • BUY OUR BOOKS
    • LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND: A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL
    • NURTURE
  • Coaching Services
  • Contact Us
    • Shareable Quotes
    • Become a Contributor
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Partner with Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Join the Community >
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Nurturing Marriage Conversations Facebook Group