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5 Ways to Care for a Sick Spouse

7/28/2016

8 Comments

 
I LOVED this article about caring for a sick spouse. My wife really struggles with depression and this really helped me with some ideas for how to support her.
No one likes being sick, but it happens to everyone from time to time. Sometimes it's a cold or stomach flu that passes in a couple of days; at other times, it's a broken bone or a surgery that includes weeks or months of recovery.  Occasionally, it's a much more serious illness - mental or physical - with long-lasting effects. 

Whatever the case may be, dealing with illness in marriage is never easy.  However, when your spouse gets sick, it creates an opportunity for a little extra service in your marriage.  Magically, this selflessness can bring you closer together than perhaps you've felt in a while. So there is something good that come from the sickness!

With that being said, here are five things you will want to try the next time your spouse is feeling a bit under the weather. 

1. Show a little empathy.

Empathy has been defined as "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another."  Your spouse needs to know that you care about them, that you hate seeing them suffer, and that you will stay by their side and take care of them every step of the way. 

Your empathetic words and actions will lift your spouse, encourage a bit of hope, and help them endure through long (and sometimes very boring) days.  Ask, "How are you doing?"  and then just sit and listen. Offer words of encouragement, such as, "You are so tough. I'm proud of you. You're going to get through this." Try asking if there's anything you can do that will make him or her feel more comfortable. 

When your sick spouse feels like you understand their challenges, that you will take care of them, and that everything is going to be okay, the burden they feel will suddenly become much lighter.  Your empathy won't magically make your spouse better, or make the pain go away, but it will change how they feel in here (I'm pointing to my heart, here). Your empathy will let your suffering spouse know they have a true companion and best friend who will be with them through any challenge that may come their way.

READ: HOW TO AVOID FALLING OUT OF LOVE


2. Be their greatest strength.

It can be hard to stay strong (emotionally and spiritually) when you are physically sick, weak, and in pain. Although your spouse may appear to put on a strong front, inside that may not be the case. 

You can be your spouse's greatest strength through this sickness.  You know them better than anyone else. So, be their shoulder to cry on,  their chef to fix fancy chicken noodle soup, and their lover to offer hugs, kisses, and plenty of cuddles.  You are the one who can hold your spouse and tell them everything will be okay.  You can offer hope and encouragement.  You can be cheerful, optimistic, and strong - so they don't have to be.  When you are strong for your spouse it is empowering.  It can re-energize your spouse and give them strength to carry on.
5 Ways to Care for a Sick Spouse - No one likes being sick, but it happens to everyone from time to time. Sometimes it's a cold or stomach flu that passes in a couple of days; at other times, it's a broken bone or a surgery that includes weeks or months of recovery. Occasionally, it's a much more serious illness - mental or physical - with long-lasting effects. Whatever the case may be, dealing with illness in marriage is never easy. However, when your spouse gets sick, it creates an opportunity for a little extra service in your marriage. Magically, this selflessness can bring you closer together than perhaps you've felt in a while. So there is something good that come from the sickness! With that being said, here are five things you will want to try the next time your spouse is feeling a bit under the weather.
3. Show a little more patience.

It's true. Your spouse may be a bit grumpy. Or bored. Or tired. Or, in the case of a tonsillectomy, hangry. Sometimes sickness breeds a bit of moodiness, and tempers may be a bit more short than usual. Give your spouse a break. He or she simply doesn't feel like being their normal, more positive self. So, remember, supporting your spouse includes showing a little more patience than normal (or a lot more!). 

Have you ever heard the saying, "patience is a virtue"?  Well, it's true.  Patience is a virtue.  It's a virtue that can be cultivated with practice and more practice, and more practice. Don't snap at your spouse if they are grouchy. Don't complain that you are doing so much for your spouse and they aren't showing much gratitude. Just be patient, very patient, and give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. Put yourself in their shoes, and be grateful that you are feeling as well as you are! 

4. Do a little more.

It takes a LOT of work to keep a family going - especially when there are children involved. And unfortunately, when your spouse gets sick, the amount of work that needs to be done seems to grow exponentially. If your spouse is sick, step it up and do a little more.  

Play the role of super-hero and forget about yourself for a few days. Try and serve your spouse in any way possible. Think to yourself, "What will make their life easier? What can I take off their plate?  What will make them more comfortable?" Make dinner (or maybe go pick it up!), fold the laundry, put the kids to bed, run to the store and grab medicine, write a love note, change the sheets on the bed, etc. Doing a little more will will help your spouse a lot - and it will show them how much you love them.

READ: DOES SHARING A BED WITH YOUR SPOUSE GET ANY EASIER?

5. Remind them how much they mean to you.

Whenever I'm sick, I quickly remember how much I need my wife and how much I appreciate having her by my side.  It's interesting that I also feel the same way when she's the one not feeling well.  It is often in those moments that I realize how much she does and what big shoes she fills.  In either situation, my appreciation and love for her grows.  That's the magic of service - whether we're on the giving or the receiving end.

So, if your spouse isn't feeling well, give them a little extra love and let them know how much they mean to you. Tell them you love their eyes, or that they look a little more alive than they did yesterday.  Be positive, be grateful, and be happy.  Hug them, hold their hand, rub their back, kiss their cheeks, and let them feel how much you love them (sick and all). 


Oh, and a quick word to the sick spouse...

Sorry you are sick. That really stinks. You probably have noticed your spouse doing an inordinate amount of little things for you.  Be sure to express appreciation for all they are doing. 
  • Smile whenever they walk in the room.
  • Say, "Thank-you babe," all the time. 
  • If you are up for it, shower.  Often. 
  • Try not to whine.  You can be tough.  You can also be real. Just try not to whine.
  • Tell your incredible spouse, "I love you," whenever possible.

With all that being said, sickness doesn't have to be such a negative, discouraging thing. Rather, it can be seen as an opportunity to nurture your marriage, express appreciation, and grow closer together as husband and wife.  Now, go wash your hands and try not to spread any germs! 

​Photo Credit: Crooze Photography

You may also enjoy The Very Best Thing You Can Do For Your Spouse and Creating Daily Touch Points With Your Spouse
8 Comments
Hil link
7/25/2018 04:28:50 am

Just what I needed

Reply
Tera
11/2/2018 12:59:15 am

Its so hard to remmer these things. He got both flus back to back and Im nearing my due date for our baby girl. This last week has been so straining on our reltionship but having this to look back on helps me remember. ❤

Reply
Ay
3/18/2019 01:34:15 am

My wife makes me feel I'm a huge burden to her. She does everything required but still complains and laments. It hurts so badly.

She shows no empathy and complains after every service she renders. Can't wait to get well again

Reply
Eskimo
6/21/2019 10:40:55 am

My husband flew out for work. After work hours, he couldn't care less and kept going with farewell parties with his work colleagues.


All I need is a call drop in to check on me and tell me that he feels my pain. Instead when I called to tell him miss him, he tells me off for checking.
I work full time and have 3 kids to look after. They are constantly in each other's face.
So he use power play and say , how about you find a FIFO role then. Then after he landed whilst I m still sick, he keeps going with another farewell party.
He told me that he will be quick. Landed at 9:30pm and party on for another 4.5 hours til now 1:38 am still not home.
I am dieing with a flu with heavy headache. Occasionally might get a line to ask hope you are well. Bla bla bla. But he is absent. And become snappy the next min with sacastic remarks.

Reply
stevannah link
9/7/2020 01:21:19 pm

He is behaving like a horrible partner. It saddens me that you are being treated like that....you know this is not the man for you. Being on your own is even much better than that. When you're on your own you create beautiful friendships because no man is in there messing up your life and keeping you feeling powerless. Take all those bad feelings and channel them into a commitment to yourself that you REQUIRE love, respect, honesty, and caring from a partner and if they can't do that then they just need to take whatever they've got somewhere else! You life is precious you deserve a good solid love.

Reply
M
10/18/2020 01:22:04 pm

Hate to say it but he maybe cheating

Reply
Iesus
11/1/2019 03:40:54 pm

I agree. Taking care of someone who is sick is about showing them that they have someone who is with them during their difficult days and that they have a safety net where they can always fall. Showing lack of care, complaining or snapping at the sick person is a shortcut to destroy that safety net - it's like being in a battle and your only team member just walks away and leaves you out there. Not the best feeling and you don't want to go on a battlefield with that person again. But I'm happy for everyone whose partner can put themselves into the shoes of a sick person and give them all the care that the person needs.

Reply
Carlton
3/20/2020 01:52:57 pm

I love my wife.

Reply



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