NURTURING MARRIAGE®
  • About
    • Us
    • Our Foundational Analogy
    • What We Believe
    • Meet Our Contributors
    • Featured On...
  • 6 Pillars to Nurturing Marriage
    • The Little Things
    • Date Night
    • Intimacy
    • Values to Live By
    • Routines and Rituals
    • Conflict Resolution
  • More
    • Romantic Getaways
    • Money Matters
    • Featured Couples
    • On a Lighter Note
  • BUY OUR BOOKS
    • LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND: A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL
    • NURTURE
  • Coaching Services
  • Contact Us
    • Shareable Quotes
    • Become a Contributor
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Partner with Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Join the Community >
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Nurturing Marriage Conversations Facebook Group

4 of the Best Marriage Books

7/8/2015

28 Comments

 
4 of the BEST #marriage books - love this website. Tons of helpful information!
By Courtney Stivers
Here is a list of books that I would recommend to all married or engaged couples (it is very difficult to narrow it down to just a few).

1. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

by John M. Gottman & Nan Silver
I read this in graduate school, and one aspect I enjoyed was that it is written in a way that is useful both for couples and for counseling professionals.  I am skeptical in general about research, but the conclusions and suggestions from this book are practical and pragmatic.  Though not a substitute for martial counseling, I feel this book will benefit the reader especially in the area of conflict resolution.
The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work

2. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that 

Lasts

The basic principle of this book is to learn how you and your spouse express love and how to show love to your spouse.  If you speak your spouse’s love language (words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch), you can reach deeper levels of intimacy and connection.  This is a bit overly simplistic, as people’s needs are often more complex and not everyone fits neatly into one of these boxes.  Still, this is a quality read and worthwhile to happy and struggling couples.
by Gary Chapman
The 5 Love Languages Overview

3. Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed 

Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us 

Happy

by Gary L. Thomas
This might not be a fit for everyone’s world view, but I wanted to include it for those who are of the Christian faith.  It is a very interesting premise, even if one is not a Christian.  The crux of the book is that the true purpose of marriage is self growth and a greater connection with God.  I think all too often we pursue constant happiness and pleasure. Then, when our spouse does not meet our expectations, we jump to the erroneous conclusion that we married the wrong person.
Sacred Marriage Overview - What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy

4. His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof 

Marriage

by Willard F. Harley
This book reviews the top five needs of both men and women, and then it suggests the way to keep a relationship strong is by meeting the needs of your partner.  Again, it might be oversimplified, but I do think it is very important to have an awareness of your spouse’s needs and attempt to meet them.  I agree that people whose needs are being met are less likely to have an affair, though they are responsible for their own behavior either way.  I also wanted to mention that your spouse’s needs might not match the five listed in this book, so study your spouse.  Learn about his or her world.  Ask what makes them feel loved or affirmed.
His Needs, Her Needs overview - great review of a great book!
To all you married folks out there, what marriage books do you recommend to others?  I always love finding a new book to read.  My nightstand is empty right now.

*Courtney Stivers, PhD, earned her doctorate in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Louisiana at Monroe, and she is licensed as Marriage and Family Therapist and Professional Counselor in Arkansas.  Additionally, she is an adjunct professor for Liberty University and has a passion for teaching family systems theory and professional issues.

28 Comments
Brandie B
7/10/2015 07:40:21 am

The Love Dare, its a daily devotional book, I buy one as a wedding gift eveytime someone I know gets married!!

Reply
Courtney Stivers link
7/10/2015 12:26:43 pm

Yes, I have that one! I cry like a little old lady watching a lifetime movie every time I watch Fireproof. The acting is not great, but the story is so powerful.

Reply
udochi Ufomba
7/10/2017 05:04:23 am

A must read book indeed. Must known principles of a successful marriage for couples. I appreciate.

Aaron & April link
7/13/2015 07:22:15 am

Ooooh, we'll have to check it out! Sounds good!

Reply
Caleb
7/15/2015 12:07:33 am

Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson is an awesome marriage book. It is a great book to read together. Five Love Languages is definitely a good one as well. Understanding how your spouse feels loves can be very powerful for a marriage.

Reply
Zandra C
8/23/2015 02:34:22 am

Thank you for all the great marriage books!
A few others: "From this day forward - Five commitments to fail-proof your marriage", Craig & Amy Groeschel.
"Fit to be tied - Making marriage last a lifetime", Bill & Lynne Hybels

Reply
Aaron & April
8/24/2015 01:17:19 am

Thanks for sharing some more great books, Zandra!

Reply
AC
2/27/2016 05:44:59 pm

I find this personaly humourous because the woman that was having an affair with my husband states that the "His Needs Her Needs" is actually bibically based. And that after reading it together (which my husband claims he did not) that it spiritually married them. Yep folks - wackjobs are everywhere.

Reply
Aaron & April link
6/22/2016 06:40:14 pm

Yikes - we're sorry you had to go through that. His Needs, Her Needs is definitely a good book for couples and we highly recommend it!

Reply
K
4/13/2023 09:58:21 pm

Yes, I agree. I do not recommend His Needs Her Needs
It’s story after depressing story about spouses who did not meet the other’s needs. And so, of course, their spouses had affairs, usually with someone especially good at /willing to meet that persons top one or two needs. The message is, if your spouse doesn’t meet your needs, it’s okay, expected even, for you to have an affair. In fact, it’s mostly your spouse’s fault that you had(had to have) an affair. Anyone who leans towards feeling entitled will surely appreciate this ready excuse to endulge. Affairs are incredibly painful and destructive. Don’t ask me how I know. 💔

Reply
Kendall
4/24/2023 10:16:46 am

AC, I’m so sorry to hear about your ex and his girlfriend bragging about this book. But, it makes so much sense to me. I’ve always thought this book encouraged affairs. The premise seems to be: You better meet your mate’s needs. If you don’t, then OF COURSE he or she will have to have an affair. And, it’ll be all your fault for not meeting their needs. So, not surprising that they would bond over this book that validates their decisions. So sad. Please don’t recommend this book! Choose carefully; others on the list are excellent!

Reply
Jackie
10/17/2016 02:54:04 pm

I am a woman and I would say that I would like the same things that he lists a man needs. For instance, it is important to me to be sexually fulfilled. And I think everyone would love to have an attractive spouse but to list this in the top five for a man's need is very sexist and extremely shallow.

Reply
Aaron & April link
10/18/2016 08:53:55 am

Jackie,

We're sorry you feel that way. Please understand that we didn't create the list of His Needs/Her Needs. That list comes from a research-based book, and those were the results of the men and women surveyed. Obviously, not all men and women fall into those categories, in that order. It is good for both men and women to recognize their top needs and know their spouse's top needs in order to help each other and complement each other. Hope that helps!

Aaron & April

Reply
Wendy link
6/15/2017 12:59:29 pm

The new book by Gary Thomas, "Cherish" is amazing! It will give you a whole new perspective on how to treat your spouse in a way that honors one another by learning how to not just love your spouse, but how to really cherish them and your relationship.

Reply
Aaron & April link
6/22/2017 04:49:57 pm

Wendy,

We'll have to check it out - thanks for the tip! It sounds like a fabulous idea!

Thanks, Aaron & April

Jennifer
6/21/2017 07:43:07 pm

I agree. Women can love and desire sex too. What about those of us who have husbands who don't like sex? I would like recreational companionship as well...

Reply
Aaron & April link
6/22/2017 04:51:56 pm

Jennifer,

Thanks so much for your comment! You are right, these "needs" can easily go both ways. Those were just the top needs from his survey/research. If you want to further the conversation, please email us and we can chat more about your desire for recreational companionship and your husband's lack of desire for sex. Best to you!

Aaron & April

Tammy
9/11/2017 09:28:08 pm

I couldn't agree more. This shallow list seems to me the reason why so many women have insecurities. Looks fade, sex isn't great all the time, every time. These are things that cannot be helped, however, the man's list is not hard to keep to.

Reply
Sir Sweetness link
1/4/2019 01:16:31 pm

Men are visual. Having an attractive wife is in the top 3 for most or all men. Sorry to disagree with you

Reply
Angela
3/12/2021 06:36:38 pm

This is why I never read any of these sort of books. The generalization in them without any sort of disclaimer makes them unreadable to me. I feel the same about many Christian blog posts too.

Reply
Meow2525
11/20/2021 07:00:04 pm

Try The Great Sex Rescue. It's an ACTUAL research based book. 20,000 Evangelical WOMEN were surveyed, and the results are eye opening. I am a very ugly woman, but my husband loves me and we have a very high libido marriage on BOTH sides. The sex is great. Books that use generalizations are toxic. His Needs, Her needs is really a rough read.

Christine
2/10/2022 06:43:04 am

1000% agree. It's very sexist. A woman is worth more than being sexually attractive and giving her body to sexually fulfill her husband. That list is kind of disgusting really. Why do women get stuck into a role of needing to please her man sexually but no mention of ever pleasing the woman?

Reply
SCOTT WYCOFF
6/13/2022 01:27:33 pm

Hi, did you know there are spells to win love back from an ex. I have done it. I love reading about relationships and how to make them work, how to better the relationship, and how to keep the spark alive, even how to talk to them a certain way to get them to think a different way about the situation and you. If you need advice or want to win your ex back, try this: [email protected] copy and message on the following ( [email protected] ) It will change your mentality and get you what you want. Facebook page Https://web.facebook.com/Emu-Temple- 104891335203341

Reply
Rachael Mildred
1/22/2024 07:46:29 am

EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL TO GET EX HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND OR EX WIFE/GIRLFRIEND AND CURE HERPES AND INFERTILITY THAT WORKS WITHIN 24 HOURS.

Contact Doctor Odunga at [email protected] OR Whats App/CALL +2348167159012

I got my ex husband back to me and also got fertile and gave birth to twin girls after 12 years of marriage.
When I came online last year, I saw a testimony about Doctor Odunga and how he has been helping people with marriage issues and I decided to contact him. We spoke on email at [email protected] and later he gave me his Whats-App number which is +2348167159012. He assured me he would help me get my ex husband back after 3 years of no contact. Doctor Odunga is the best spell caster I must say. My husband called me after 24 hours of contact. The third day, I received natural herbs for fertility and after using it, I became fertile and conceived. My husband and I reconnected, had sex and I was pregnant. Presently I am happy to say I am the mother of twin girls and this is ALL THANKS TO DOCTOR ODUNGA. I came online to say this: If you need help, I believe you are saved with this man.

Contact his email at [email protected]

OR Whats App/Call +2348167159012 and you too will give a testimony too to help others

Reply
nira
9/15/2024 07:34:30 pm

Hello, my name is Nira. I was in a relationship with Anderson for years, but he broke up with me. I tried everything I could to get him back, but it was all in vain. I really wanted him back because of the love I have for him. I begged him with everything, made promises, but he refused. I explained my problem to my friend, and she suggested I contact a spell caster who could help me cast a spell to bring him back. Although I never believed in spells, I had no other choice but to try it. So I emailed the spell caster, and he assured me that everything would be fine in three days, and my ex would come back to me. Surprisingly, it happened on the second day around 4 pm. My ex called me, apologized for everything, and said he wanted me back because he loved me so much. I was so happy and went back to him. We started living together happily again. I promised anyone I know who has a relationship problem that I would refer them to the one true and powerful spell caster who helped me with my problem. If you need his help, you can email him at [email protected]. He offers various types of spells, including love spells, lost love spells, divorce spells, marriage spells, binding spells, breaking spells, banishing a loved one from the past, promotion spells, satisfaction spells, and cure for any diseases you suffer from. Contact him for a lasting solution to any problem you might have.via [email protected] WhatsApp +2348136951551 Viber +2348136951551

Reply
James Turley
2/6/2025 06:22:09 am

I was really stressed by Erectile dysfunction issues and had consulted Dr Moses Buba. He gave us a thorough consultation and the medicines were equally effective. In a couple of weeks there was big improvement in me and we are very pleased with the progress. We cannot thank Dr Moses Buba enough. Highly recommended.you can reach him via Email [email protected] WhatsApp +2349060529305. you can also reach on his Facebook page ; https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61559577240930 / website page https://bubaherbalmiraclem.wixsite.com/website

Reply
GUFF jan
4/3/2025 01:44:47 am

Holy s**t. Sorry for the language but I cant believe i stumbled across a comment while scouring the internet. I am suffering from erectile dysfunction, which was the same situation i found on the post ,Then I Connected with the email , i saw on the internet . i ordered mine and same with me today am cured , i am now a full man , enjoying my sex life and also got manhood enlarger , now my wife do scream on me and enjoy every part of me , if you also need his assistance , You meant go through his website; https://bubaherbalmiraclem.wixsite.com/website . Or reach him via mail ; [email protected] or WhatsApp ; +2349060529305 or his Facebook Page ;https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61559577240930 . AND THANK ME LATER . REACH ME FOR ADVICE +12044101902

Reply
Vanessa
5/8/2025 04:43:14 pm

Hello, it’s a lovely morning here. I am Vanessa Craig, and I am writing this article to inform everyone that just because we overlook certain information due to our lack of knowledge doesn’t mean it isn’t real. I am currently valued at more than £70 Million Pounds because I acknowledged this vital information. I had assistance from a man named Meduza I found online whose impressive testimonials about his spell work are legit and genuine. His lottery spell enabled me to win £65 Million Pounds in the lottery by providing me with the accurate winning numbers after he performed a lottery spell for me. I placed my full trust in him and followed his instructions without any hesitation and right now, I am proud to say that Meduza’s spiritual advice for winning the lottery is superb and outstanding. I am very grateful to him for his help. To know more, reach out to him at

WhatsApp: +1 807 907 2687
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: lordmeduzatemple

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    The Little Things

    Instagram

    RSS Feed

    “Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.”
    -Jennifer Smith
    Picture

    You Know You Want to Read

    • 15 Tricks to Help You Learn How to Talk to Your Spouse Again
    • 3 Reasons You & Your Spouse Need a Bucket List
    • How Being "Mad" is Hurting Your Relationship
    • 17 Gestures That Make Men Feel Loved
    • Why You Should Still Ask Your Spouse Out on Dates
    • Foreplay Isn't Always What You Think
    • 3 Reasons to Keep Trying to Be Intimate With Your Partner
    • 5 Tips for Dealing with In-Laws Who Feel Like Out-Laws

    Everybody Loves These

    • Doing Things Your Lover Loves Because You Love Your Lover
    • 40 Fabulous Spring Date Ideas
    • 4 Tips to Creating the Marriage You Want
    • What is Your Apology Language?
    • How to Create Bedtime Rituals That Will Nurture Your Marriage
    • 5 Things Great Listeners Do
    Picture
   The Little Things       |     Date Night      |      Intimacy      |      Values to Live By      |      Routines and Rituals      |      Conflict Resolution       

Featured Couples      |      On a Lighter Note      |      Studies Show      |      Shareable Quotes 
  |      Commenting Policy
Photos from buru9, Agence Tophos, Jessica_Branstetter, Ryan Polei | www.ryanpolei.com, elsie.hui, hang_in_there, Nathan O'Nions, srgpicker, abdul / yunir, charlottejewel, kuhnmi, Alexandra Campo, Gareth1953 All Right Now, Simson_Petrol, Mateus Lunardi Dutra, diettogo1, Lyndsay Esson, shaunanyi, Urban_Integration, emraps, lemonjenny, Korona Lacasse, lilivanili, natasia.causse, oz1421, Ars Skeptica, @yakobusan Jakob Montrasio 孟亚柯, johnhope14, Stefano Montagner - The life around me, srgpicker
  • About
    • Us
    • Our Foundational Analogy
    • What We Believe
    • Meet Our Contributors
    • Featured On...
  • 6 Pillars to Nurturing Marriage
    • The Little Things
    • Date Night
    • Intimacy
    • Values to Live By
    • Routines and Rituals
    • Conflict Resolution
  • More
    • Romantic Getaways
    • Money Matters
    • Featured Couples
    • On a Lighter Note
  • BUY OUR BOOKS
    • LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND: A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL
    • NURTURE
  • Coaching Services
  • Contact Us
    • Shareable Quotes
    • Become a Contributor
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Partner with Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Join the Community >
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Nurturing Marriage Conversations Facebook Group