Recognizing the Power of Routines & Rituals

Nurturing, by definition, means "the care and attention given to someone or something that is growing or developing," (Merriam Websters Dictionary).

 Nurturing then, is something that requires time, effort, and consistency, and should happen day-by-day, week-by-week, month-by-month, and year-by-year.

The days tick on.
The weeks pass quickly.
And time flies by.

One of the best ways to nurture a marriage is to be intentional about the routines and rituals you share as a husband and wife.

What are Routines and Rituals?

Routines and rituals include the normal, ordinary things you
and your spouse do on a regular basis; they also include the things you do around special occasions (birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Day, etc). 

Nurturing routines and rituals include ordinary things that you may not realize have become like mini-traditions throughout the day. Consider the things you do before you go to bed; the things you do when you wake up; how you greet each other when you say good-morning or hello; how you say good-bye; where and when you eat together; ways you spend time together, etc.

Being Intentional

Being intentional means that you decide to make something happen - on a consistent basis - that has meaning for you and your spouse.

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There is power and significance in nurturing routines and rituals because they provide predictability, connection, identity, and a way to enact values (see William Doherty, The Intentional Family).

For example, one ritual you may share is something as simple as kissing each other every night, right before you fall asleep, and saying, "I love you." Choosing a ritual like this is a decision. Doing it every night brings consistency. Kissing and saying, "I love you," provides deep meaning for you and your spouse.

This simple ritual provides predictability, because you both know it is something you do each night; connection, because it brings you together and often may lead to more than just one kiss; identity, because it is something just the two of you share; and a way to enact values because it provides a time and space to show love, respect, gentleness, and concern for the other.

Discover your Routines and Rituals

Think about the routines and rituals you and your spouse currently share.  What other routines or rituals will help nurture your marriage? In this section, we will provide you with ample ideas that will help you realize that being intentional is much more fun than you thought, and more than worth the effort.

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