Written by Aaron & April Jacob
Sometimes life can get a little crazy and busy - pulling you in all kinds of directions. Have you ever felt like you're just trying to keep your head above water? It's exhausting!
When this happens to you, try turning to your spouse and making time for love.
It might seem a bit counter-intuitive, but choosing - intentionally - to take time to love and be loved will help you re-focus on what matters most, and provide you with the extra boost and motivation you need to push through those crazy-busy times.
READ: HAVE YOU EVER SAID THIS TO YOUR SPOUSE?
We love sports. Especially college football and basketball. The energy, passion, enthusiasm, and pure love of the game is simply contagious. There's nothing quite like going to a college game where the stakes are high, every seat is filled, the crowd is amped up, and the players are firing on all cylinders. You know the feeling - it's one of a kind.
Have you ever been at a game where momentum has shifted, the home team is turning it on, and the opposing coach can feel things slipping away? The crowd is suddenly going crazy and it's so loud that you can't even hear what your buddy next to you is trying to say?
When a visiting team finds themselves in this type of situation, the coach only has one real option - call a time out and regroup.
Sometimes life is very similar and we just need a time out. We need a break. We need a breather. We need to be able to clear our minds, put our worries aside, and just smile, laugh, relax, and focus on the things that matter most.
If you ever feel like life is starting to get away from you, take a page out of that wise old coach's play book, call a "time out," and make time for love! We promise that you'll emerge from that "time out," energized and ready to tackle the world!
READ: IS THERE MARRIAGE AFTER PORNOGRAPHY?
So, how do you make time for love?
1. Make time for sex.
This needs to be a priority in your marriage, something you intentionally make time for. You may need to schedule it in a few nights a week, or be more spontaneous in initiating it, but it needs to happen. On the regular.
2. Make time for date night.
Do it. Take a look at your calendar and schedule a date in. Surprise your spouse, or have them help plan it. We just sat down and scheduled out Wednesday lunch dates indefinitely, so at least we have something regular to look forward to. Friday night dates nights happen too, just not every single week. Here are some fun ideas for spring, summer, fall, and winter date ideas.
3. Make time for going on a walk.
We love those couples who walk the mall together in the winter, or walk the neighborhood on good-weather days. Why not choose to be one of those couples? Walking naturally provides talking time, and every couple needs a talk ritual to stay connected. So get your steps in, and nurture your marriage at the same time!
4. Make time for taking a nap together.
If you are normal, then you are probably always up for a nap. Always too busy for a nap, but always wanting a nap. So, stop what you are doing, and go take a nap - together. Physical touch and affection, even just simple cuddling/napping, will help you and your spouse feel rested and closer together. Yes, please!
5. Make time for a brief phone call to your spouse during lunch.
With the ease of texting, emailing, and social media, we often seem to avoid calling our spouses, even though hearing their voice is usually what we most want. You may be thinking, "My spouse never calls me during the day. They are too busy." Or, "If I call my spouse, they won't answer, or won't have time to talk," or "I just never remember to call my spouse, and texting is easier."
However, even though those are legitimate excuses, just promise us you will give it a try. Call your spouse. Just because. Every day for a week. And see if it doesn't help you feel close and connected.
6. Make time for a nice bath together.
Romantic much? Yes. Relaxing? Yes. Fun? Yes. Enough said.
7. Make time to watch the sunset.
We love sunrises and sunsets. Love them. In our perfect world, we would sit and enjoy each one. However, that isn't realistic for us right now, but we could do better at catching one or two a month.
A sunset is calming, beautiful, and big-picture-esque. It helps you pause and ponder on the things of greatest importance in your life. It reminds you that the world will keep rushing by, day in and day out, but that you don't have to get swept along, you can create the life you want and the marriage you want.
8. Make time to sit down to dinner together.
Who does this? Really, though? One meal a day together is so super important. So make it happen. You don't even have to make dinner. Just pick up something and sit down together, at home. Yes, look at you guys, having dinner together on the regular.
This simple ritual will lend to greater family bonding, time to decompress after a long day, and laughter and sharing that you would have missed if you would have eaten separately.
9. Make time for greeting each other with a hug and kiss.
So simple. And yet soooo hard. Sometimes by the end of the day, we just want to walk in and be like, "Hey." "Hey." And then either vent about all the stress and craziness of the day, or keep it all in and be silent and worn-out and boooring.
When was the last time you greeted your spouse with a smile and a kiss? If it's been a few days, or a few weeks, try and make it a regular, every day occurrence.
It may feel a little much at first, but over time it will become the new norm. A really good - not to mention romantic - norm.
10. Make time to talk, listen, and share.
If you are feeling too busy to talk to your spouse, then carve out some time, make a ritual of it, go get milkshakes and talk. If talking to your spouse is awkward, then read through these 15 ideas to help you with a little refresher!
Talking to your spouse, and connecting with him or her, will help you remember what your priorities are, help you balance all the demands on your time, and help you two feel closer together than before.
These are just a few ideas of what it looks like to make time for love. The point is to be intentional about sharing love and affection with your spouse.
So never forget, regardless of how busy, stressful, and demanding life gets, you can always call a "time out," from seemingly pressing matters, and choose to make time to simply enjoy the love of your life! You will come away renewed, re-energized, and re-focused on the only things that truly matter in life.
Make time for love and you won't look back with regret.
Photo Credit: Ashley Swenson Photo
“A great marriage isn’t something that just happens; it’s something that must be created.”
- Fawn Weaver
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