NURTURING MARRIAGE®
  • About
    • Us
    • Our Foundational Analogy
    • What We Believe
    • Meet Our Contributors
    • Featured On...
  • 6 Pillars to Nurturing Marriage
    • The Little Things
    • Date Night
    • Intimacy
    • Values to Live By
    • Routines and Rituals
    • Conflict Resolution
  • More
    • Romantic Getaways
    • Money Matters
    • Featured Couples
    • On a Lighter Note
  • BUY OUR BOOKS
    • LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND: A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL
    • NURTURE
  • Coaching Services
  • Contact Us
    • Shareable Quotes
    • Become a Contributor
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Partner with Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Join the Community >
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Nurturing Marriage Conversations Facebook Group

Do You Celebrate Your Relationship Enough?

1/7/2016

1 Comment

 
Do you celebrate your relationship enough? When you think about rituals in relationships you may think about a proposal and the engagement ring. A proposal is often a marker of the desire to get married, and both partners express their desire for the marriage to occur. When we are engaged, we even have a special title that makes our relationship status clear to others. These rituals have symbolism and meaning attached to them. But what about earlier transitions? Do we mark the moment from casual dating to exclusive dating? Do we agree on what it means when we meet the other’s family? (REPIN!)
Written by The Relate Institute
Try to remember your high school graduation.  What were you wearing?  What speeches were given? How did you feel? You may not remember every detail, but chances are you can clearly remember the feelings you had and some of the colors, sounds, or thoughts you experienced.  Why is that?

​Markers of accomplishment, such as high school graduation, are often celebrated with traditions that set them apart from everyday events.  These traditions, or rituals, remind us that we are moving from one stage to another, and we can later recall these transitions with clarity.

Similarly, in relationships we make many transitions, big or small, that are important markers of the relationship’s progress.  Sarah Halpern-Meekin at the University of Wisconsin and Laura Tach at Cornell University have found that couples who use rituals to mark these stages are better able to remember the moment of change in the relationship, and are generally happier and more stable. 

What is a Relationship Ritual?

When you think about rituals in relationships you may think about a proposal and the engagement ring. A proposal is often a marker of the desire to get married, and both partners express their desire for the marriage to occur.  When we are engaged, we even have a special title that makes our relationship status clear to others. These rituals have symbolism and meaning attached to them.

But what about earlier transitions?  Do we mark the moment from casual dating to exclusive dating?  Do we agree on what it means when we meet the other’s family?

Rather than being confused about what your partner expects, try creating your own rituals and meaning together.  Decide together what it means to meet the parents, whether or not that meaning is the same for other couples.  Create your own ways to mark important transitions, such as revisiting the site of your first date when you feel it is time to increase your commitment to each other.  

No matter what you do or how you create your rituals, use them as clear celebrations of your relationship and the progress you are making.  As you create rituals together you will find that the two of you are on the same page more often and growing closer together.  You will remember the goals you have for the relationship better and feel you know what your partner expects.
Do you celebrate your relationship enough? Try to remember your high school graduation. What were you wearing? What speeches were given? How did you feel? You may not remember every detail, but chances are you can clearly remember the feelings you had and some of the colors, sounds, or thoughts you experienced. Why is that? ​Markers of accomplishment, such as high school graduation, are often celebrated with traditions that set them apart from everyday events. These traditions, or rituals, remind us that we are moving from one stage to another, and we can later recall these transitions with clarity. Similarly, in relationships we make many transitions, big or small, that are important markers of the relationship’s progress. Sarah Halpern-Meekin at the University of Wisconsin and Laura Tach at Cornell University have found that couples who use rituals to mark these stages are better able to remember the moment of change in the relationship, and are generally happier and more stable.
Why are Rituals Important?

If we are not clear about the status of our relationship, or the meaning of events, it can become a source of confusion and conflict in the relationship.  While one of us may think we are exclusively dating, the other may feel it is okay to date others.  One person may see meeting the parents as leading to engagement, while the other may see it as a way for their family to be involved in their life.  Being clear about the meaning of events and our desires for the relationship can save us a lot of heart-ache and confusion later.  Relationship rituals also give us an opportunity to celebrate our relationships and reflect on the positive moments we have had in the past.

​Creating rituals can be a great way to make sure you are moving through the relationship together and want the same thing.  Follow these three tips to make sure you are celebrating your relationship in memorable ways:
 
  1. Be unique - A good ritual is something that is clearly different than the daily routines of life.  Think about the many holidays we celebrate.  Why is Christmas so special to us?  What do we do differently on Mother’s Day?  Every holiday is usually celebrated with activities that we would not do otherwise.  Celebrate your relationship the same way.
  2. Choose something with meaning - A great way to celebrate milestones is to revisit the place of your first date.  This is because successful rituals include something with meaning for everyone involved, and often something that doesn’t mean anything to anyone outside of the relationship.  The ritual can become a symbol of the two of you and the life you share.
  3. Continue the ritual - Once you have marked a special occasion together in one way, repeat that same ritual every year after to remember how much you have grown together.
 
So the next time your partner says “let’s talk,” make it an opportunity to create a ritual marking the beginning of a great new adventure together.  You will find that with each new change you will remember the wonderful times you have shared together more clearly and know you are with someone you love. Use the Relate assessment as a way to learn more about each other.
Photo Credit: Crooze Photography

You may also enjoy Why You & Your Spouse Need a Talk Ritual and 10 Reasons You & Your Spouse Need a Romantic Getaway
1 Comment
SCOTT WYCOFF
6/13/2022 04:31:41 pm

Hi, did you know there are spells to win love back from an ex. I have done it. I love reading about relationships and how to make them work, how to better the relationship, and how to keep the spark alive, even how to talk to them a certain way to get them to think a different way about the situation and you. If you need advice or want to win your ex back, try this: emutemple@gmail.com copy and message on the following ( emutemple@gmail.com ) It will change your mentality and get you what you want. Facebook page Https://web.facebook.com/Emu-Temple- 104891335203341

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Routines &
    Rituals

    RSS Feed

    “A great marriage isn’t something that just happens; it’s something that must be created.”
    - Fawn Weaver

    Picture

    You Know You Want to Read

    • 15 Tricks to Help You Learn How to Talk to Your Spouse Again
    • 3 Reasons You & Your Spouse Need a Bucket List
    • How Being "Mad" is Hurting Your Relationship
    • 17 Gestures That Make Men Feel Loved
    • Why You Should Still Ask Your Spouse Out on Dates
    • Foreplay Isn't Always What You Think
    • 3 Reasons to Keep Trying to Be Intimate With Your Partner
    • 5 Tips for Dealing with In-Laws Who Feel Like Out-Laws
    Instagram

    Everybody Loves These

    • Doing Things Your Lover Loves Because You Love Your Lover
    • 40 Fabulous Spring Date Ideas
    • 4 Tips to Creating the Marriage You Want
    • What is Your Apology Language?
    • How to Create Bedtime Rituals That Will Nurture Your Marriage
    • 5 Things Great Listeners Do
    Picture
   The Little Things       |     Date Night      |      Intimacy      |      Values to Live By      |      Routines and Rituals      |      Conflict Resolution       

Featured Couples      |      On a Lighter Note      |      Studies Show      |      Shareable Quotes 
  |      Commenting Policy
Photos used under Creative Commons from Brett Jordan, Billy Metcalf Photography, -closed- look 4 /MyVisualPoetry, the.anomalous, anastasia r, iulia.pironea, Ryan Paulsen Photography, ashleypatty34, DonMiller_ToGo, Phil Roeder, Tony Faiola, David Blackwell., Lee Howguar, Nastya Birdy, johnhope14, RobertJinks, ClearFrost, parramitta, Kevin Cortopassi, JasonCorey, Rosa majalis, arthur shuraev, danielmoyle, H o l l y., treestok@gmail.com +919833694352, seanmcgrath, Marina Aguiar Araujo, Zuerichs Strassen, Leo Hidalgo (@yompyz), Sergio Vassio, tmarsee530, osseous, striatic, garryknight, bandita
  • About
    • Us
    • Our Foundational Analogy
    • What We Believe
    • Meet Our Contributors
    • Featured On...
  • 6 Pillars to Nurturing Marriage
    • The Little Things
    • Date Night
    • Intimacy
    • Values to Live By
    • Routines and Rituals
    • Conflict Resolution
  • More
    • Romantic Getaways
    • Money Matters
    • Featured Couples
    • On a Lighter Note
  • BUY OUR BOOKS
    • LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND: A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL
    • NURTURE
  • Coaching Services
  • Contact Us
    • Shareable Quotes
    • Become a Contributor
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Partner with Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Join the Community >
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Nurturing Marriage Conversations Facebook Group