We're a bit biased when it comes to discussing the ideal age to get married. Primarily because we were married when both of us were the ripe-old-age of twenty-one. We were so mature... so established in life... so ready to be married. Okay, not really, but we were confident, determined, and in love. We had no clue what was ahead, but we were confident enough in what we had together to seal the deal and commit with all of our hearts to sharing life together.
In the grand scheme of things, it probably doesn't matter how old either of you are when you marry your spouse. Rather, what matters is the quality of your marriage and the way you work at nurturing your marriage. We also recognize that there are plenty of people who are still searching for that special someone to spend the rest of their life with. If that happens to be you, please don't get discouraged. Do what you can now to better yourself and prepare for your own marriage, whenever that time comes. With all of that being said, here are three advantages of marrying young that we've come to recognize in our own marriage.
1) You quickly learn that money is not the key to happiness
Most couples who marry young start out with very little... or nothing... and that might even be exaggerating the truth. The fact is, when you marry young neither spouse has had time to accumulate much of anything when it comes to wealth and financial stability. It's quite possible that on the day of your wedding you could have fit all your worldly possessions in the trunk of your beater car and counted all your savings on your hands and feet combined.
And believe it or not, that was to your advantage.
Not only did your dire financial circumstances teach you very valuable financial lessons (like scrimping, saving, and living on a budget), but it also taught you the timeless principle that money cannot buy happiness. When you first got married, you may not have had a big house to come home to, a fancy car to drive, or even many groceries in the refrigerator, but you did have your love for each other - and that love made you feel very rich.
2) You aren't too entrenched in your own habits
Getting married is a huge change in life. You and your spouse may be madly in love, but you're still two different people with two different ways of doing things. While it may feel very natural to begin your life together, it's still a big transition. Married life is very different from single life (It's WAY better!).
When you get married young, you aren't as deeply entrenched in your own habits and ways of doing things. As a result, the transition to married life can be much more smooth. Rather than butting heads about whether or not you buy 1% or 2% milk, or how to properly wash the dishes, or the million other petty things couples argue about, you establish your own habits and ways of doing things together. When you marry young, the transition to married life doesn't feel as much like an encroachment of your personal space, or an infringement on your privacy.
3) You grow closer together by growing up together
We look back at our wedding pictures and think we look like babies. And we were young! The fact is, when we got married, we still had a lot of growing up to do (we still do!). But as we've grown up and matured in all aspects of life, we've also grown closer together. We've had to learn hard lessons together. We've had to work through tough challenges together. And yet, we have been together, side-by-side, through it all. We have shared more memories and more of life together.
For us, those memories include applying for programs in school, studying late into the night for exams, earning bachelors and master degrees, moving from coast to coast and even across the world for internships and jobs, learning to be parents, enjoying summer vacations to the beach and the mountains, moving, buying our first house, and the list goes on. Marrying young allows you to be a part of the earlier chapters of each other's lives, so you can better understand and shape the rest of the story.
A final note
Timing isn't always in our hands. It often isn't. And so, if you aren't married, and you are young or not-so-young, take heart - your time will come. What matters most is that you strive to live a full and meaningful life right now.
“A great marriage isn’t something that just happens; it’s something that must be created.”
- Fawn Weaver
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