10 Ways to Connect With Your Spouse

Written by Michelle Chandler

Hi, there! My name is Michelle and I am a full-time working mother and wife. I adore my job withThe Baby Cubby running their Cubby Community Blog where we strive to empower mothers and family's everywhere, but more often than I would like to admit I find that I get to the end of my day and realize that I haven't even really looked at my husband that day. Or talked to him. Or really listened. Not because I don't want to, just because life gets in the way between both of us working, loving our daughter, and doing the dishes (for the millionth time, do they ever end?!). That's why my husband and I have been working so hard to find ways that we can connect with each other throughout the day, even if it's not in person.

Here are ten ideas for you to try out, too!

1. Text "I love you" at least once a day.

I know this sounds super simple, and many of you probably do it already, but there is something about seeing that and having it constantly reinforced. I mean, you really just can't say those three little words enough!

2. Come up with conversation topics.

One of the things that I love to do is listen to podcasts on my commutes to and from work. My personal favorite is Radio Lab which has crazy topics all the time! At the end of the day when we sometimes feel we have nothing to talk about, it's nice to bring up this wacky story that I heard on the podcast. Total. Winner.

3. Send funny things to each other.

I know that you use your phone in the bathroom too, and search Facebook for that funny little thing that will keep you going throughout the day. Send that funny meme or video or picture to your spouse! Or, if you're at home with the kids and they do something hilarious, send a video or picture to your spouse! It will make their day and help them feel involved, too!

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4. Lunch dates. They're a thing.
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My husband just finished school and so he is finally at work for a full 8-hour day and so am I! Which means: lunch dates are now a staple. Our daughter is already at day care anyway, so we may as well get some couple time. We usually just run to our nearest sandwich shop and chat for about a half hour while we eat. It's the perfect way to eat lunch.

​5. Leave a little love note on their car.

If you wake up earlier than your spouse or go to bed later, then it's not that hard to leave a little love note on their car window. I used to do this all the time when my husband and I were dating and it literally made all the difference in his day. You can even mix it up by getting their favorite bag of candy and leaving it in their car as well, to make their day a little sweeter!

6. Ask how their day is going.

By the end of the day I have usually checked out. I don't want to think about work or anything else that day. Which means that when my husband asks how my day went when we're eating dinner he doesn't get a stellar answer. BUT, when he asks me how my day is going in the middle of the day I'm much more likely to remember what is actually happening along with other important information. We are much more in tune with each others lives since we have begun doing this!

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7. Kiss for at least 7 seconds once a day.

There is a study that came out recently talking about the 7-second kiss and how that is the minimum amount of time you need to kiss each other in order to feel connected. So, do that! When you get home from work really kiss your spouse. Even if your kids go, "Ewwww!" It will be good for them to see that you love each other and that kisses are reserved for those you adore.

8. Find your happy place.

My husband and I recently acquired a gas fire pit and it has been our happy place all summer long. We make sure we're always stocked up on marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers and make our way out there as soon as princess is in bed. It's the perfect place to reconnect and talk about our hopes and dreams for a minute. Also, it's a little romantic, which is always a plus.

9. Tickle each other.

And by this I mean be goofy. Remember when you were young and fun and flirted all day long? Those days can be yours again! Just make an effort to poke and prod and be immature for a minute. I am really extremely ticklish and so my husband likes to take advantage of that more often than not. It gets us giggling and laughing and smiling - which is something so precious that can get lost in the busyness of life!

10. Say goodnight to each other.

This seems like just the polite thing to do and a no-brainer, but you would be surprised at how many couples don't do this! By saying goodnight you are acknowledging that there is someone else in your life that really cares what you are doing. Heck, it may even prompt them to head up to bed with you!

Don't let life tear your marriage apart. Small and simple things are key to keeping your marriage strong. No longer is it about the big, romantic gestures. Now it is about those thoughtful, small moments that you will cherish forever. So identify what your spouse would really love to see or hear or do with you and run with it! They'll just be glad to hear they're on your mind throughout the day.

Michelle is a committed life-long learner and in 2010 obtained her BS in Psychology from BYU, which she now utilizes every day as the mother to one darling and energetic little girl. As she works full-time for The Baby Cubby curating the Cubby Community Blog, Michelle hopes to help mothers everywhere realize their value and potential. She truly believes that mothers can do it all - especially when they work together to encourage and empower each other! 

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