The other day I stumbled upon a comment on a blog that really made a lot of sense to me. In fact, it stood out so much to me that I've been thinking a lot about it since. The comment was posted by author Shela Dean, who wrote the book "Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy." Now, while I haven't read the book, her simple comment got my mind turning about the idea that foreplay isn't just about initiating sexual interaction with each other, but it's about the marriage relationship as a whole.
Shela's mindset is that foreplay is what happens all day, everyday. It's every little interaction - at least every little positive interaction. This kind of mindset is another way of saying, "nurture your marriage." Now, here at Nurturing Marriage we aren't suggesting that your relationship is all about sex, because it isn't (although sex is a vital part of any healthy marriage). We are, however, suggesting that being intentional about taking care of your marriage and doing your part to create a beautiful life with your spouse WILL make for more meaningful and satisfying sex. If you and your spouse are facing obstacles when it comes to sex, it may be that your overall relationship isn't in a healthy place, and one or both of you just can't seem to feel connected enough to enjoy the experience. Or perhaps something about your spouse has really been bugging you and you just can't even think about sharing that deep level of intimacy right now. If you are feeling a bit stuck in the love-making department, then it's time to take a step back and look at your relationship as a whole. It's time to focus on creating more positive interactions and less negative ones. It's time to start finding ways to serve your spouse and to truly meet his or her needs. It's time to start nurturing your marriage, in little ways, to create the emotional, mental, and physical intimacy that you both desire. With all that being said, here are 25 forms of foreplay you may never have thought of before! 25 Forms of Foreplay You May Never Have Thought of Before!
1. Folding the laundry and putting it all away in one day.
2. A handwritten note to your wife telling her she is beautiful. 3. Not making your husband wait forever for you to get ready for a date. 4. Cleaning his car. 5. Letting her sleep in. 6. Sitting down to play a board game together and to talk, laugh, and flirt. 7. A welcome home hug that lasts for two solid minutes. 8. A sincere compliment telling him what a great father he is. 9. Giving him a back scratch while you watch football together. 10. Cleaning the toilet. 11. Being first to say "I'm sorry." 12. Making her favorite dinner. 13. Picking up her favorite soda. 
14. Staying on budget.
15. Decluttering that junk pile on the bedroom dresser. 16. Watching that chick flick with your wife, even though you don't really dig chick flicks. 17. Taking a walk around the block while holding hands. 18. Being cheerful and positive after work. 19. A good-bye kiss every single morning, with an "I love you." 20. Putting your phone down and really listening to her. 21. Playing footsies under the kitchen table over dinner. 22. Calling her on your lunch break just to check in and hear about her day. 23. Emptying the dishwasher. 24. Asking him out on a spontaneous milk shake date. 25. A quick text that says "thanks" for something specific you appreciate about him/her.
Now, these may seem like simple things to do (and you may wonder if they even qualify as foreplay), but they will make a huge difference in the overall health and well-being of your marriage. Little things like these tell your spouse "I'm here for you," "I love you," "I care about you," "I want to make your day," and "You mean the world to me." As your spouse receives those messages, it really will be foreplay all day, everyday, because he or she will feel confident in your love, will feel close and connected to you, and will start to feel a bit more romantic and in love with you. And that is a recipe for some meaningful times together, if you catch my drift.
Photo Credit: Caitlinn Mahar-Daniels
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11 Comments
dee
3/25/2016 10:00:54 am
Mu husband came from a family that gave the term "dysfunctional" a whole new meaning. Every generation was closed off emotionally. He was stingy with compliments and affection, things that I craved, coming from a family that expressed love and affection openly and often. When I told him "I love you" he would often follow this with a sarcastic remark, with the effect that I told him those very important words less and less.
Aaron & April
3/27/2016 01:09:32 pm
Hi Dee - thanks for sharing. We're sorry that's been your experience and commend you for continuing to do all you can to share and express your love!
CJ
8/1/2016 06:55:29 am
When your wife is an avoider by nature and you are a pleaser, whenever I make advances to get closer she pulls away and become disconnected. My primary love languages are physical touch and affirmation -- neither of which she is very good at giving on a consistent basis and because of this my heart just lives in pain on a daily basis. 4/18/2018 11:09:51 pm
Spicing things up in the bedroom and making your partner uncomfortable are two absolutely different things. Physical intimacy in the bedroom is a two-way street! You get what you give. You can ask him why you want to role play this situations. People like have all kind of new ways and find new ways for physical intimacy spicing up in bedroom. Depend on you if your comfortable and if your not tell them. Because Physical intimacy in the bedroom is a two-way and both should enjoy it.
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11/24/2020 07:26:28 am
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Intimacy“Love is the greatest gift when given. It is the highest honor when received.”
- Fawn Weaver 
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