4 Ways to Re-Energize Sexual Intimacy

Did you know that married couples between the ages of 30-39 have sex on average seven times a month? That's roughly 20% less than married couples in their 20's. You don't have to be included in those stats - these four tips can help you make intimacy a higher priority in your marriage.

Physical intimacy is a vital part of any thriving marriage. It's a special connection that only you and your spouse share together. It's a symbol of your love and unity. Sexual intimacy is key to nurturing your marriage. 

Unfortunately, sexual intimacy is also something that, over time, can become a bit mundane and less fulfilling than it once was. Remember when you were newlyweds and you couldn't get to bed early enough to spend some intimate time together? Perhaps now you fall into bed dead-tired with barely enough energy for a goodnight kiss. Remember when intimacy was energizing and renewing? Perhaps now it often feels like more of a chore. Remember when intimacy gave you the deepest feelings of love and connection with your sweetheart? Perhaps now you're left feeling a bit empty.

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If you feel like your intimate relationship with your spouse has taken a nose-dive, try these four tips to rekindle the fire, and to make intimacy special again.

1) Set the mood

Setting the mood can really make a big difference! Rather than simply rolling over towards each other after you get in bed, try to up your game a little. Smell nice. Like really nice. Spray on a little Chanel Chance, turn down the lights, turn on some romantic music and then hold your spouse close while you slow dance. That's right. Slow dancing in the bedroom = super romantic. Then just enjoy each other. Run your fingers through her hair, kiss his cheeks and nose, and whisper sweet nothings in her ear. You get the picture. Setting the mood is one sure way to rev you both up for an intimate night together. 

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2) Plan on it

By planning on it, we don't mean that you should get out your calendar and schedule time for sex (though that may help some couples!). What we mean is that you should give your spouse a nudge and a wink before heading off to work in the morning, just so they know that you're already looking forward to coming home. Send him a text during the day that says, "I love you hunk! I can't wait for tonight!" Leave her a little note in her car, sprayed with your cologne, that says "XOXOX...later?" Whatever your approach may be, let your spouse know that you're looking forward to some intimate time together...admit it, the anticipation makes it so much more fun. 

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3) Get away

There's just something special about a romantic get-away together. Away from kids. Away from work. Away from the daily routine. Get-aways give couples time to recharge, to refocus on each other, to reconnect, and to simply be alone - together. It could be a week-long cruise in the Bahamas, a long-weekend at a mountain resort, or simply an overnight trip downtown. The price tag and location are not what's important. What matters most is that you're intentionally making time for each other, free from any and all distractions, so that you can fully enjoy each other. That bears repeating... fully enjoy each other. Nothing says romantic sex like a get-away with your spouse. So clear your calendars, pack your bags, and go fully enjoy each other. Wink, wink. 

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4) Start early

Many couples get married in their 20's or early 30's, when they're full of energy and enthusiasm for life. While your enthusiasm may still be alive and well, it's possible your overall energy has died down a bit as the years have marched on (or been completely zapped by a busy career, community involvement, and a couple of kids!). Perhaps in your college days it was never too late (or early) for a little intimacy with your spouse. However, these days your body starts screaming for sleep around 10pm. The solution? Start early. Don't wait to fall into bed to initiate sex. Rather, initiate it at 8pm when you both have a little energy left and have some kind of desire to be close to each other. When you wait until your teeth are brushed and the lights are out, your body may have already slipped into sleep mode. That's a nice way of saying there is no way sex is going to happen. So avoid the danger of the late-night hours and make it a priority to have some alone time with your spouse earlier in the evening. You'll thank us later. 

These four simple actions can go a long way in re-energizing the intimate relationship you share with your spouse. So, start now and watch these four ideas re-ignite your desire for sexual intimacy in your marriage. 

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