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36 Questions That Will Help You Fall In Love With Your Spouse Again

7/24/2015

19 Comments

 
36 Questions That Will Help You Fall in Love With Your Spouse Again - so dreamy and romantic!
If you saw our recent article, How to Fall In Love Again, then here are the 36 questions to ask your spouse on your dreamy date night - yes, the one that is going to help you two fall madly in love all over again. So go ahead, pull out this list of questions on your date and go through them one by one. Sparks are going to fly, folks. They are going to fly!

Put the study by 
Dr. Aron to the test - your marriage deserves this refreshing little experiment! Now, a few reminders... you're not going to answer the questions with one or two word answers, or with the phrase, "You already know that." You're not going to complain about how silly this is, or how awkward you may feel. You are going to open up, and take a chance at love again. Deep, connected love. That's the magic of it all. Just thirty-six little questions for a more intimate and close connection with your one true love. Happy loving, friends. 

Without further delay, here are the 36 questions...

36 Questions That Will Help You Fall in Love With

Your Spouse Again

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your [spouse] appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your [spouse] your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your [spouse]. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your [spouse], please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your [spouse] what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your [spouse] an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your [spouse] something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your [spouse’s] advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your [spouse] to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
You might like... How to Fall in Love Again
Questions found here. 
p/c Jason Corey Photography
19 Comments
Lesley
8/1/2015 08:23:15 am

Reply
Ann link
3/30/2016 12:48:14 am

I thought your questions to be very insightful but for a couple married a very long time these most of these questions have been discussed especially in part II.
We are married over 40 years and I feel we love each us just much as the day we were married. How do we take the boring out, the dinners where no one talke? Any suggestions? We were married young so we are in our late 50's

Reply
Aaron & April link
4/2/2016 08:02:41 am

Ann,

Thank you for your comment! Yes, we're confident that after being married as long as you have (congrats!) that you two know quite a bit about each other.

This article may be helpful in helping you take the boring out of dinners. :) http://www.nurturingmarriage.org/conflict-resolution/15-tricks-to-help-you-learn-to-talk-to-your-spouse-again

You may also enjoy asking these fun questions, even if you know some of the answers! It can keep dinner convo's from getting boring. :) http://www.nurturingmarriage.org/date-night/date-night-conversation-starters-you-have-to-try-out

Also, we would suggest picking up a new hobby together, or reading a book together, or finding something to do together that will get you talking about something new - something you haven't done before!

Another idea that could work would be to start sharing your life stories (and perhaps recording them on an app) over dinner. So, start at the beginning and take turns every other night at dinner time. Tell everything you remember about your life, starting as a child, and just listen to each other. Practice asking good follow-up questions, as though you were interviewing each other (and make sure you are recording all of this!) and wanting to write a bio on each other. It will be so fun to have a chance to record your life story, and to revisit it together. :)

We hope these suggestions help! Please continue to reach out with any other questions!

Aaron & April
nurturingmarriage.org

trudy
4/11/2016 12:37:35 pm

Ann , i feel they same way.we been married 30 years and the dinner talks are the same old same old. But the fire is still burning thank god.

Michelle
10/28/2017 04:48:45 pm

Go on short day trips to do things yout find interesting /he finds interesting. Take a girlfriend along sometimes. Pick up a new hobby together, like dancing, painting, hunting, or wine tasting. Try to stay activ r and fun and exciting. ;-) (We're 46 yrs old.)

Kalyn
4/15/2016 12:20:48 pm

Hi,
I have been married 2 years together 3, my husband and I have a 2 year old daughter and we are almost exactly 20 Years apart. He is a truck driver and I am a stay at home mom that's feels like she has fallen out of love, I'm stuck and don't know what to do. When I met my husband there was a Co worker that is a few months younger than me and we we're both having feelings towards each other well being as I metmy husband at my job my Co worker, husband and self started hanging out together and my feelings for both of them kept growing the only difference no is instead of being able to drop the feelings for my ex Co worker he and I both still have extreme feelings for each other. I need help advice on what I should do I'm at a loss and feel like I am the worst person in the world..
The one that seems to be in love with 2 men..

Reply
Jeri
6/9/2016 04:02:26 am

Kalyn, you are treading on dangerous waters. If you want your marriage to work, you need to focus on it and quit thinking of the other man. You also need to stop spending time with the other man. What made you chose your now husband over the other when you were dating? Why did you choose him to father your child? You chose your husband over the other man before....don't stop now. Keep choosing him. When thoughts of the other come to mind, change your thoughts to your husband....what would you do without him, why you love him, etc. Do Not dwell on thoughts of the other. Be grateful your husband is willing to work so hard so that you can stay at home to raise (both) your child. Most importantly, pray over your marriage and for your spouse daily. Satan looks for good things to destroy. But remember: At the mention of His name (Jesus), Satan must flee! So use his name often!!

Reply
Kevin Beauchamp link
8/17/2016 11:51:36 am

Great Questions! I love sharing resources like this with clients who have become unsatisfied with their relationships. It is also a great reminder for myself. Thanks!

Reply
A&A
8/19/2016 08:06:24 am

Thanks, Kevin! We're glad to hear you like this and find it useful!

Reply
Julie Martin link
9/7/2016 07:06:14 am

Love the questions but like many I have been with my husband 19yrs and married for 10 next week. Some of these questions have been answered along the way in brief replies, how do I get him to fully open up and respond. His childhood was pretty damaging.

Reply
Reen link
10/24/2016 06:40:10 pm

I'm a male. Have been married 35 years. For over 30 years all I ever want to do is leave this marriage. In the beginning of our relationship everything seemed fine. Before we married I sat her down and wanted to share all of my life with my future bride. I had only had one girlfriend before my wife. Well, I admitted to her I had only one sexual partner before her and she said she also had only one sexual encounter before we married. After 2 years of being married and with a daughter I held my wife high on a pedestal.She was my diamond. Then one day we got into an argument. It was over sex. She started by saying I didn't measure up. She then began to tell me she had been with black and Hispanic men because she wanted to see if it was true about their size. She ensured me it was. She let me know she had been with about 40 men before me. My heart fell to my feet, and I asked her why she even married me. She told me it was because she felt sorry for me. Why I don't know. She was pregnant with our 2nd daughter at that time and I just wanted to leave, but I didn't. I knew if I did my daughters would not have been brought up knowing Jesus. My wife has been both physically and mentally abusive to me. I have fought this woman for years, but one thing I'm glad about. Both of my children are filled with the Holy Spirit. I feel like I gave up an entire life of happiness for myself, but I guess it was worth it knowing my girls are saved. I have had 9 heart surgeries and my wife says lets see what it will take to stress you out. I'm still here because my daughter decided to have 2 kids and she lives with me now with her husband. The grand kids have my heart now. I wish I could have had a joyful marriage. I know it's too late now. I just exist with my so called sister wife and grandkids. Thanks for listening.

Reply
Samantha
11/10/2016 11:36:07 am

Reen, I'm so sorry to hear you have been so unhappy for so long. I can't imagine and I hope I don't end up unhappy for that long or make my husband feel that way for so long. Think about the daughters you have raised and the grandchildren you will get to help raise. You yourself have made the world a better place by raising two girls to be saved by Jesus Christ. My dad raised me to be a follower of Jesus and I am so thankful. Your life isn't over, go do something you enjoy even if it's just spending time with your children or taking your grand children to different churches to see which one they like the best to get them involved with Jesus too. Keep your head up and enjoy life! I hope your wife will one day realize she has had a man stay by her side and help raise your children.

Reply
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Ivy P link
12/18/2020 01:41:49 am

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Reply
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  • About
    • Us
    • Our Foundational Analogy
    • What We Believe
    • Meet Our Contributors
    • Featured On...
  • 6 Pillars to Nurturing Marriage
    • The Little Things
    • Date Night
    • Intimacy
    • Values to Live By
    • Routines and Rituals
    • Conflict Resolution
  • More
    • Romantic Getaways
    • Money Matters
    • Featured Couples
    • On a Lighter Note
  • BUY OUR BOOKS
    • LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND: A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL
    • NURTURE
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