kissing it out of them

Written by Aaron & April Jacob

Calling all normal people who are sometimes grouchy, irritable, and moody and who sometimes have spouses who are grouchy, irritable, and moody - we have a challenge for you. 

​Yes, it has to do with kissing. 

Kissing can be a game-changer in your marriage. Literally, a mood changer.
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Keep reading, and we'll explain.

Here's a little technique we want to challenge you to try in your marriage, a technique that can turn almost any frustrating experience into a unifying and nurturing experience.

The Kissing Challenge in Action

Imagine it's been a long day. A long week, really. And you are feeling especially irritable, tired, and cranky. Everything your spouse does is making you feel frustrated and you don't know what to do. The way he spreads the butter on that bagel? Annoying. The way he picks at his nail cuticles like that? Super annoying. 

You're kind of in a really bad mood, and this mood isn't going anywhere.

Or so you think.

Now imagine that your hot hunk of a husband wraps his arms around you and starts kissing you. Giving you - little old grouchy pants - attention. He kisses you on the cheek. On the neck. On the ear. And he won't stop. 

He makes some flirty comment and rubs his fingers down your nose. 

At first you are still super annoyed (though inside you are kind of like, "Thank you for giving grouchy pants a little attention over here!") and you try and push him away. He hugs you tighter. He isn't going to let up. 

You start to whine in an effort to show him how annoyed you are. But really, you are liking this attention. You don't want him to stop, but you aren't quite ready to not be grouchy anymore. 

He tickles you.

You laugh.

He yells, "I broke you!"

You feel pretty humbled and silly inside, but you poke him and say you are sorry.

Then you steal another kiss. 

And that is that. 

Your bad mood is gone and now you find yourself kissing your hot husband in the kitchen for another ten minutes. 

That night turned out all right after all, if you are humble enough to admit it. 

All thanks to your spouse, really. And his dog-gone stubbornness to help you break out of a bad mood. ​

Kissing it Out of Them

We call this method, "kissing it out of them." It works for bad moods, for little disagreements, and for full-on frustrating fights. (***Disclaimer, this doesn't ALWAYS work, but it's always worth a try!)

​READ: THE SIX SENSES OF HEALTHY SEX

This simple technique has proven to be quite effective in dissipating bad moods and grouchy spouses.

Why so effective? 

Because it really works. 

It does. 

Trust us. 

• You can kiss out pride.
• You can kiss out anger.
• You can kiss out stubbornness.
• You can kiss out PMS.
• You can kiss out hurt.
• You can kiss out orneriness.
• You can kiss out grumpiness.

Why It Works

Why does this simple technique work? Isn't kissing just a way to numb or hide or run away from real emotions, you ask? 

Kissing it out works because no matter what we are feeling in the moment, the deeper emotion underlying those feelings is usually a deep desire for connection, love, attention, and care. 

Are we right, or are we right? 

• ​When you are frustrated with your spouse the one thing you really long for is to feel close to them and to feel loved and understood. 
• When you are impatient and PMSy, the one thing you want is to feel close to your spouse - to feel like they care. (And you want to be held, admit it.)
• When you are mad about something, you really just want to be listened to, validated, and hugged. 

Each of us, whether we are willing to admit it or not, could use a lot more KISSING from our spouses - especially when we are the most prickly and the least deserving of their care and attention. 

(Plus, kissing triggers the release of feel-good hormones in your brain, so kissing really can help a bad mood dissipate!)

Showing love and affection to your spouse is always a good idea. It can bridge gaps and settle trivial disputes.

It certainly takes a measure of patience, understanding, and humility to successfully "kiss it out," but it is also most certainly worth it.

​So are you willing to accept our challenge?

The Challenge and The Rules

Challenge: We challenge you to try KISSING IT OUT OF YOUR SPOUSE every single time he or she is ornery during the next two weeks. 

The Rules: You have to read this article with your spouse, decide that you are both willing to do this, and commit to your role to kiss it out of your spouse. 

1. For the grouchy spouse - Let your spouse kiss it out of you. Don't be so stubborn that 20-minutes of kissing will still find you a grouchy mess.

2. For the humble spouse - Be committed to kissing it out of them, no matter how difficult. It's super rewarding to break a grouchy spouse after ten minutes of hard work kissing, flirting, and complimenting your spouse. It's fun. We promise.

We love this simple technique and hope it can help you nurture your marriage and eliminate annoyances, frustrations and mood swings that are getting in the way of your happily ever after. 

Comment below - we want to hear your thoughts and experiences!

​READ: AN INTERVIEW WITH KIM AND GEORGE KNOLLMEYER

Photo Credit: Crooze Photography

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