5 Tips for Dealing With In-Laws that Feel Like Out-Laws

12/17/2015

With the holidays upon us, it’s very likely that you could be spending a significant amount of time with your significant other’s family. For some, this may be an occasion to celebrate. If this sounds like you, then consider yourself very, very fortunate. For others, spending time with their in-laws may feel like more of a chore… or even torture.

It’s been said that when you marry a person, you also marry their family. The one “present” that comes with every wedding is in-laws.

If your in-laws feel more like out-laws, then try these tips for surviving the holiday season and actually building quality relationships with the family you married into.

Plus, your spouse will thank you for your efforts in loving and accepting his/her family. Trust us.

1. Keep an open mind.

If opposites really do attract (and we’re not so sure about that), then it’s highly probable that your spouse’s upbringing was very different than yours. Perhaps you’re from the east and he’s from the west, maybe he came from an affluent family and your family struggled to make ends meet, or maybe he has 5 siblings and you’re an only child. Even if you and your spouse seem to have a lot in common, there are surely some differences in your respective parents’ outlook on life, and those differences impacted the way your spouse was raised.

So, when you’re with your in-laws, the key is to keep an open mind. It’s okay that they do things differently than you, or that they see things differently than you. That doesn’t make them wrong. In fact, those differences can actually add a lot of flavor and color to your family tapestry.

2. Don't criticize.

We know your mother-in-law’s Paleo diet style of cooking just doesn’t quite measure up to what you're used to. We know your father-in-law is a little loud and brash at times. We also know that your wife’s 45-year-old brother who still lives at home has some disgusting habits. And we know that your husband's grandma keeps commenting on things the kids should be doing differently. We get it. However – you can’t change other people. You can only love them for who they are. So rather than criticize and nit-pick, try observing the good (even if you have to look really hard) and appreciate them for who they are - your family.

3. Take the good and leave the bad – but learn from both.

When my wife and I were newly married, my Dad gave us some great advice about establishing our own family. He encouraged us to "take the good and leave the bad, but learn from both." Essentially he told us to incorporate the positive qualities from each of our respective families into our new family going forward, while leaving the negative behind.

It may be that your wife's family was really good at keeping their home in order, and your family was really good at spending quality time together. Or maybe on the flip side her parents spent way too much money and were always in debt, and your family dealt with conflict through the silent treatment.

Together with your spouse, observe the things you like and don't like about how each of your families did/do things, and then work together to create the marriage and family life you both want.

REPIN!!! Must read for sure every married person. haha. Loved it. 5 Tips for Dealing with In-Laws that feel like Out-Laws - With the holidays upon us, it’s very likely that you could be spending a significant amount of time with your significant other’s family. For some, this may be an occasion to celebrate. If this sounds like you, then consider yourself very, very fortunate. For others, spending time with their in-laws may feel like more of a chore... or even torture. It’s been said that when you marry a person, you also marry their family. The one “present” that comes with every wedding is in-laws. If your in-laws feel more like out-laws, then try these tips for surviving the holiday season and actually building quality relationships with the family you married into. Plus, your spouse will thank you for your efforts in loving and accepting his/her family.

4. Make an effort to develop real relationships.

If you are finding that your in-laws are a little hard to deal with, then maybe you should remind yourself that life isn't all about your comfort, happiness and enjoyment. Maybe it is time you forget about how little you enjoy being with your in-laws and instead start working on your people skills. Do your part to show an interest in your brother-in-law's life. Talk with him, play a board game with him, and ask him about that video game he loves so much.

If you think your mother-in-law is frazzled and stressed, then find a way to help instead of just rolling your eyes. Go put on an apron and listen to her tell stories while you wash the dishes side by side. It may surprise you how good you feel when you forget about yourself and focus on serving others and developing relationships.

Plus, this kind of generosity on your part is a sure way to let your know spouse know how much you love him/her.

5. Remember that YOU CHOOSE how you view your in-laws.

At the end of the day, you get to choose how you think, talk, and act around your in-laws. You can choose to love them, speak highly of them, and enjoy being with them. You can choose to relax and smile when they say something that offends you, and to let it go. You can choose to treat them with the love and kindness they deserve - since they are family now.

We know it won't always be easy, but your choice to be positive and focus on the good will go a long way in creating a happy life for both you and your spouse.

Photo Credit: Crooze Photography

You may also enjoy 10 Things Loyal Spouses Do or 50 Ways to Show Love

37 Comments

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8/9/2022 10:31:15 pm

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8/18/2022 02:18:23 am

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8/21/2022 05:40:54 pm

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8/27/2022 01:20:06 am

solve all your relationship and marriage issues.
My boyfriend that left me a few months ago just came back to me last night crying for me to take him back. My boyfriend left me and I was devastated. The most painful thing is that I was pregnant for him. I wanted him back. I did everything within my reach to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because of the love I had for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to my sister and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back , I had no choice than to try it. I messaged the spell caster called dr.unity, and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay before 28hours. He cast the spell and surprisingly 28 hours later my boyfriend called me. It was so surprising, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened He wanted us to come back together. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy and went to him that was how we started living together happily again.thanks to dr. unity . if you are here and your Lover is turning you down, or your boyfriend moved to another girl, do not cry anymore, contact Dr.Unity for help now..
Here his contact.
WhatsApp him at: +2348055361568 ,
Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,
His website:http://unityspelltemple.website2.me

8/29/2022 05:01:13 am

I NEED AN URGENT LOVE SPELL CASTER TO BRING BACK MY EX LOVER CALL/WHATSAPP +16692213962 My Husband broke up with me after 9years of relationship. It started from small misunderstandings after which he told me that it would be good to take a break, which I think turned into a breakup. He no longer looks for me, he blocked my number and people said they saw him with another woman, this brought tears to my eyes because we are about to marry, I searched for help when I came across this spiritual man called DR ONIHA who have helped many people having relationship problem, I talked with him about my situation and he described to me the process to get back with my lover, I followed his instructions and today I'm happy because my man came back after 5 months of breakup and we are happily married now. If you need the help of a spell caster for any kind of relationship problem contact DR ONIHA for a lasting solution.
EMAIL: ONIHASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM
Call/whatsaap number:+16692213962
Website: http://onihaspellls.com

Kimberly

9/3/2022 03:10:42 am

Hi everyone I’m here to testify of a great and powerful spell caster called Sabo . I was so confused and devastated when my husband left me without a word, I needed him back desperately because I loved him so much. So a friend of mine introduced me to this powerful spell caster who had helped her in getting her lover back, so I contacted him and he promised that in less than 15 hours he will come back to me. After I did all he asked, to my greatest surprise my husband who had refused to speak with me came to my house and asked for forgiveness for all he had made me go through and now we are living happily together, if you have any problem I will advise you contact him on WhatsApp @ +2349129684787. or
EMAIL: saboherbalmedicine@gmail.com

Susan

9/30/2022 08:49:39 am

💔💔😭😭My heart was crushed in early February this year 2022 and my marriage and Love life was completely muddled and broken down. I was so heart broken and i needed to put an end to the imbroglio that has affected my marriage for the past nine months because i and my kids needed my husband to be back home. I knew fully well that I must learn to love myself before anything else and i knew he was meant for me with no doubt, because when we first met till after 14 years of our marriage, he was there for me. After our divorce, without a shadow of a doubt I do feel completely off balance and i was living each day with no direction and very little actual presence of myself, I felt like I was on auto pilot and I was wasting day after day all in pains.. And as of February 3rd, he started bringing in all the lies, the other women, etc. I knew I married for bigger reasons so I hope its just the fog of our issues that brought in the uncertainty. I always liked to keep an open mind, because ultimately, I just wanted everything to be ok with the 3 of us (my son, my husband and myself) And Its has not been easy after all the times he's left. I just didn't want to keep falling deeper into the wrong direction. My divorce totally went into default in FEBRUARY. I was totally frustrated and i needed help from an online spell caster which Priest Gift rendered to me completely. Finally I am writing this testimony to offer my thanks and deep gratitude to you priest Gift for keeping to your words and your promises in bringing him back to me in just 24 hours of your powerful spell casting, and for using your gifted and great powers to bring him back today the 2nd of November 2022. Its an Amazing experience i had with Dr Herry His Email: drherry189@gmail.com
you can also call him on his Telephon drherry189@gmail.com

WhatsApp him +2347045451476
On ishttps://www.facebook.com/DrHerry-102339232327182/

Dale McEwen

10/8/2022 03:57:15 pm

I’ve been playing the lottery since I was 18, the highest amount I've ever won is $500 but all thanks to Dr Amber the spiritual father that prepared a lottery spell for me that made me a winner of $70,000,000 just by giving me numbers that worked out perfectly for me... Right now, I am proud to say there's nothing Dr Amber cannot do with his spells. I advise you to talk to Dr Amber and let him guide you on what to do if you want any help from him. Here are his contact information's Phone Number: +18084815132, Email: amberlottotemple@yahoo.com or check his website for his WhatsApp Number.... amberlottotemple.com

10/15/2022 12:14:41 am

I can’t think of anything more painful or heartbreaking than hearing your husband say “I don’t love you anymore. Or “It’s over. I’m in love with someone else.” Everything I’m going to suggest will sound counterintuitive. But these radical measures are what I’ve seen breathe new life into broken marriages for thousands of women in your distressing situation—and what I did to revitalize my own broken marriage. I was broken the more and needed help by all means because I wasn´t ready to loose my family to that wrench who wants to take my husband from me and from his children, at this point I was already 9 months pregnant with our other baby. and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr.Excellent have helped thousands of Women/Men to get their Ex-lover back.. So messaged the spell caster called Dr.Excellent, and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be ok, and he told me what is needed to be done and i provide the necessary things. He cast the spell and surprisingly 28 hours later my husband called me. It was so surprising, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that has happened He wanted us to come back together. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy and went to him that was how we started living together happily again.thanks to Dr.Excellent . if you are here and your Lover is turning you down, or your boyfriend moved to another girl, do not cry anymore, contact Dr.Excellent for help now..Here his contact.WhatsApp: +2348084273514 ,
Email: Excellentspellcaster@gmail.com

10/20/2022 02:53:24 am

I am glad that I found Dr.Excellent. Thank you for taking the time to helping people in need. The service you provide is really amazing. My boyfriend Kelvin left me in June 19th, I could barely speak without crying. I felt blindsided and didn't know what to do and I was devastated. The most painful thing is that I was pregnant for him. I wanted him back. I did everything within my reach to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because of the love I had for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to my sister and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back , I had no choice than to give it a trail. I messaged the spell caster called Dr.Excellent, and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be ok, and he told me what is needed to be done and i provide the necessary things. He cast the spell and surprisingly 28 hours later my boyfriend called me. It was so surprising, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that has happened He wanted us to come back together. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy and went to him that was how we started living together happily again.thanks to Dr.Excellent . if you are here and your Lover is turning you down, or your boyfriend moved to another girl, do not cry anymore, contact Dr.Excellent for help now..Here his contact.
WhatsApp: +2348084273514 ,
Email: Excellentspellcaster@gmail.com

10/22/2022 12:27:47 am

I am 38 years old. Thank you Dr.Excellent for this wonderful spell. My husband wants a divorce but I don’t. I have been praying and fasting to restore my marriage.. We’ve only been married a year, and he just wants to give it up due to insecurities and outside influences..I cry all day and night for God to send me a helper to bring back my husband! I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr.Excellent have helped thousands of Women/Men to get their Ex-lover back.. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it, then he did a love spell for me. I never thought we will live a happy life together again but today I am glad for what Dr.Excellent did for me, here’s your solution if you need any help also”in your marriage /relationship. Here his contact.
WhatsApp: +2348084273514 ,
Email: Excellentspellcaster@gmail.com
His website:https://drexcellentspellcaster.godaddysites.com/

10/27/2022 10:41:27 am

I really want to thank Dr Emu for saving my marriage. My wife really treated me badly and left home for almost 3 month this got me sick and confused. Then I told my friend about how my wife has changed towards me. Then she told me to contact Dr Emu that he will help me bring back my wife and change her back to a good woman. I never believed in all this but I gave it a try. Dr Emu casted a spell of return of love on her, and my wife came back home for forgiveness and today we are happy again. If you are going through any relationship stress or you want back your Ex or Divorce husband you can contact his whatsapp +2347012841542 or email emutemple@gmail.com
Https://web.facebook.com/Emu-Temple-104891335203341

nichelle harris

10/28/2022 04:43:13 am

I was totally broken when the love of my life left me it was so hard for me and I almost gave up if not for a friend who directed me to a very good and powerful man called Dr BOB who helped me bring back the love of my life and now he treat me with so much love and care. I do not know what problems you are passing through but with what he did for me I know he can help you too. All thanks to DR BOB.
Contact him directly on WhatsApp +1 (614) 927-8138
TEXT/CALL HIM:+2349153314547
EMAIL: foreverspellcast49@gmail.com

11/1/2022 11:42:10 am

My ex-husband and I had always managed to stay friendly after our divorce in February 2017. But I always wanted to get back together with him, All it took was a visit to this spell casters website last December, because my dream was to start a new year with my husband, and live happily with him.. This spell caster requested a specific love spell for me and my husband, and I accepted it. And this powerful spell caster began to work his magic. And 48 hours after this spell caster worked for me, my husband called me back for us to be together again, and he was remorseful for all his wrong deeds. My spell is working because guess what: My “husband” is back and we are making preparations on how to go to court and withdraw our divorce papers ASAP. This is nothing short of a miracle. Thank you Dr Emu for your powerful spells. Words are not enough.
Email emutemple@gmail.com
Phone/WhatsApp +2347012841542.

James Dewayne Stotts

11/3/2022 03:06:31 am

I have been playing euro million for many years now and I have never won anything. Instead I wasted money in buying tickets, on one faithful day, everything changed when I saw testimony of a woman Sophia on the internet , speaking on how Dr Prince helped her in winning A LOTTERY POWERBALL. I love playing POWERBALL lottery but winning big is always the issue I had. I will never forget the day I came in contact with Dr Prince who used his great lottery spell to make me a winner of $200,000 Hundred Thousand dollars. Dr Prince gave me guaranteed lucky winning numbers within 24hours to play the lottery after he prepared the lottery spell for me. My financial status has changed for good, i am James Dewayne Stotts. All thanks to Dr Prince , I will advise everyone out there to contact Dr Prince if you want to win big in your lottery game. you can reach him via his email obinnaspelltemple@yahoo.com WhatsApp him on +18144484537 or text him. website https://obinnaspelltemple.com