![]() The wife says: Do what you want.. The wife means: You'll pay for this later. The wife says: We need to talk. The wife means: I need to complain. The wife says: Sure... go ahead. The wife means: I don't want you to. The wife says: I'm not upset. The wife means: Of course I'm upset, you moron. The wife says: You're ... so manly. The wife means: You need a shave and you sweat a lot. The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights. The wife means: I have flabby thighs. The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient The wife means: I want a new house. The wife says: I want new curtains. The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper! The wife says: I need wedding shoes. The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white. The wife says: Hang the picture there. The wife means: No, I mean hang it there! ![]() The wife says: I heard a noise. The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep. The wife says: Do you love me? The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive. The wife says: How much do you love me? The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like. The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute. The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap. The wife says: Am I fat? The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful. The wife says: You have to learn to communicate. The wife means: Just agree with me. ![]() The wife says: Are you listening to me? The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.] The wife says: Yes. The wife means: No. The wife says: No. The wife means: No. The wife says: Maybe. The wife means: No. The wife says: I'm sorry. The wife means: You'll be sorry. The wife says: Do you like this recipe? The wife means: You better get used to it. The wife says: All we're going to buy is a soap dish. The wife means: I'm coming back with enough to fill this place. ![]() The wife says: Was that the baby? The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him. The wife says: I'm not yelling! The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important! In answer to the question "What's wrong?" The wife says: The same old thing. The wife means: Nothing. The wife says: Nothing. The wife means: Everything. The wife says: Nothing, really. The wife means: It's just that you're an idiot. The wife says: I don't want to talk about it. The wife means: I'm still building up steam. http://www.ahajokes.com/mar034.html
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On a Lighter
"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
- Rita Rudner You Know You Want to ReadEverybody Loves These |