1. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
2. How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
3. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
4. A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
5. A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
***All these awesome jokes found here.
"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
- Rita Rudner
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